Girl With the Golden Eye
by Gesshoku2008
Summary: A tale of growth, secrets, love, and destiny. The Sanzo Party meet a young woman in India that will change the course of their lives; especially for one irritable, trigger happy, blond haired, monk. Will her involvement be their salvation or damnation?
1. Ch 1 - Beauty on Horseback

*Welcome to my brand new story based on another of my favorite shows! ^_^ I've been a Saiyuki fan since High School when my best friend let me borrow the first couple volumes of the manga. Ever since then, I'd been hooked! That was about… oh…eight or so years ago O.O It's been a long time. I've always wanted to write a fan story to really get across how deeply I care about Minekura's flagship series. Now I'm finally prepared with characters, plot, and conclusion! I just hope I've put together something enjoyable.

*Some warnings: This story mainly follows the manga storyline up to the end of volume nine of Saiyuki Reload. Thus, no Homura. However, as you'll guess from this chapter, I did take some ideas from that season of the anime and adapted them into this story. Also, this means that there may not be any Sharak Sanzo until I can get some more reference for her character, since I have only been able to read up to chapter 7.5 of Blast online, as that's all that's available in English. Yes… I am a very sad panda -_-

*Other than that, any characters that do not belong to me belong to the wonderful and amazing Minekura-Sama! ^_^ I would not dare steal anything from her. Some OOCness is possible, as, though I have been watching and reading these characters for years, this is a _fan_ story. OOCness is bound to happen, don't flame me if it does. Now please enjoy! This story gets fairly complex and dramatic! As anyone whose read my last story knows I do XD*

Chapter One: Beauty on Horseback

It had barely been two weeks since their confrontation with Ukoku Sanzo and only a couple days since they crossed the border into India proper. Sanzo's legs and arms, which had been broken during the fight, had not healed properly and were causing him a lot of pain. Something as simple as standing made the blond haired man grit his teeth.

If they could get to a village with a proper doctor, perhaps Sanzo's injuries would improve. But just getting to such a village was proving more than difficult. It seemed as if every day, they came across at least one group of demons searching for them, vying for the Maten Scripture.

Today had been no different. Genjo Sanzo grimaced as he fired at a demon running at him full pelt, screaming madly. He stayed by Hakuryu, the little dragon remaining in his jeep form, leaning against the metal edge of the vehicle to keep himself upright.

Hakkai, Goku, and Gojyo had spread out, keeping close enough to fend off their own groups, but not so far that they couldn't get to the monk if need be. This annoyed Sanzo but he wasn't about to stray from the only thing keeping him upright for the sake of his pride.

"Dammit!" Goku cried out from somewhere to his left, hearing the sharp thump of a demon's weapon hitting the boy's nyoi-bo, sending the brunette flying backwards. "What the hell is up with these guys?!"

"Yeah!" Gojyo agreed. "It's like there's some kind of demon convention going on around here!"

"Oh my," Hakkai said with pleasant dismay. "Then I'm afraid we're ruining their activities, aren't we?"

"Who cares!?" Gojyo yelled. "This is a pain in the ass! Wait a…"

The antennas on Gojyo's head twitched, straightening suddenly.

A motion Hakkai didn't miss. "What's the matter Gojyo?"

"Something's… coming…"

Sanzo scoffed, "So those stupid things on your head are good for something."

"Shaddup!" Gojyo yelled at the monk.

"What is it then Gojyo? More demons?" Hakkai ignored the impending argument.

"No. Not that kind of disturbance." Gojyo said then turned to look behind them, westward, sounding more gleeful then before. "From that way!"

The rest of them blinked and the fighting slowly came to a stop. The demon's had overheard the conversation and were just as interested, turning to look in the same direction. There was the sudden whinny of a horse and the sound of hooves over the dry ground. Those who had resolved to not pay attention, instead trying to get their comrades back on task, were drawn to the hill now.

A form seemed to explode from behind the hill on the back of a dark bay colored jinzhou stallion. It was a woman with long wavy black hair that reached far past her hips, tied back in a tight pony tail that hung from the back of her head, a stark white band tied around her head, keeping her flowing bangs out of her eyes she rode. Dark blue jeans hugged her legs and hips, tapering down to hug the ankles of a pair of riding boots, a tight sleeveless black shirt covered her torso, drawing eyes to every curve. There was a holster of sorts slung over her back housing a shotgun, another on her right thigh holding a handgun, and a final one strapped to her saddle, hiding whatever was inside. She held the reins tight in one hand as her steed launched from the hill top. Standing in the stirrups, it only took a moment for her to look over the scene before reaching an obvious conclusion.

The four men watched in plain awe as she reached over her shoulder with her right arm, pulling the shotgun from its holster. There was a brief moment where Sanzo felt his heart stop, believing that she was aiming at him. Then she fired and a high caliber slug zoomed over his head to explode the head of a demon who'd been sneaking up behind him. He looked in time to see the headless corpse fall to the ground, then back to see the woman smile at him and settle back in her saddle in time for her horse to land.

"Damn…" Sanzo heard Gojyo whistle.

"Is that what you felt coming?" Hakkai asked.

"Of course!" Gojyo sounded proud. "I'm never wrong when it comes to hotties."

"Would you dumbasses pay attention!?" Sanzo yelled, the demons no longer paying attention to the woman, having remembered what they came for.

The situation was quickly getting out of hand. The distraction had only made it possible for a small gathering of demons to make it behind Sanzo, trapping him.

"Shit!" Goku's voice came from somewhere.

"Sanzo!" Hakkai and Gojyo yelled.

The woman, still on the back of her horse barreled over the group of demons, knocking them to all sides like bowling pins. Her horse wasn't a hundred percent pleased with the action, shuffling side to side where it stood. The woman on its back made comforting shushing sounds to it, even as she holstered her larger weapon and pulled her handgun, a much higher caliber then Sanzo's own.

"You alright?" Her voice took him by surprise considering her look and her aim; gentle on his ears but with an underlying tone he could not place.

"Depends on whose side you're on." Sanzo said with his usual harshness coupled with pain and annoyance.

The woman blinked and only smiled, "Figured that would have been obvious."

She turned away, starting to unload into the demons she had knocked over, who were starting to get back on their feet. Sanzo watched her, gripping one of his throbbing arms.

_Her eyes_, he thought. _Her right eye is golden. Who is this woman_?

The battle became much easier with the strange woman joining them. Gojyo took out the last few demons, who were trying to escape, in one quick swipe. With all the demons dead, the four turned their attention back to the woman. She was still by the jeep with Sanzo, astride her horse, leaning forward slightly in order to pet and scratch the animal's neck and mane.

Sanzo lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, watching the woman out of the corner of his eye as the others approached.

"That was amazing!" Goku said enthusiastically.

"It sure was," Gojyo walked up to stand next to the horse; he had that tone in his voice, the one Goku always described as creepy. "You're pretty amazing, not to mention beautiful. May I ask you your name?"

"Ah!" The woman seemed uncomfortable, looking away, glancing at Sanzo quickly then noticing that he was watching her and looking away. "I don't…"

"Please!?" Goku wanted to know too.

"Uh… Xiaozhi Ma," her voice was nearly a whisper, but everyone heard her.

Sanzo's head jerked up. His eyes met with Hakkai's, which held a stunned confusion in them.

"Xiaozhi," Gojyo was oblivious and kept up his suave demeanor. "Very beautiful, fits you well."

Xiaozhi smiled awkwardly, "Uh… thanks?"

"No, the pleasure is mine. You're a sight for sore eyes. I was thinking, if you would like t…"

The gunshot from Sanzo made them all jump, the bullet flying right between Gojyo's antennas. Gojyo's cool, suave attitude that he had adapted to impress Xiaozhi quickly disappeared. The surprise didn't much please Xiaozhi's steed either, once again pacing uncomfortably back and forth.

"What the hell was that all about, ya stupid monk?!" He yelled at the blond. "Can't you see I'm busy?!"

"What you do on your time is none of my business," Sanzo retorted. "But now is clearly not the time!"

"What was that?! Now is the perfect time! It's been over two weeks! And I'm not gonna…"

Hakkai took a moment while the two were arguing to approach Xiaozhi, "I apologize for my companions. It's been a long time since we've been in polite company and I'm afraid that they forget themselves."

She merely laughed, "No, it's alright. Believe it or not, it's not the first time I've been it that sort of situation."

"Fighting demons or being hit on by perverts?" Sanzo asked calmly as Gojyo continued to fume.

"Both, I'm afraid," She laughed loudly. "These times just call for one having to know how to defend herself… against demons and perverts."

"Thus the arsenal?" Gojyo asked.

"That's right, I even have a blade in here," She said, patting her saddle holster, "just in case the bastards manage to get in really close."

"Not that they've been able to from I saw," Sanzo sounded slightly impressed.

"Have a few times, believe it or not," Xiaozhi shrugged. "But the occurrences are decreasing if you know what I mean."

Sanzo only nodded. She was formidable, he could admit to that, and her marksmanship may even out match his own. He may even slightly admit to himself that she was attractive, not that he would say that out loud, but her attractiveness was unsettling in a way, almost inhuman.

Goku had gone up to the horse, tentatively, having not seen an animal of this size before. Its head and neck made it taller than Gojyo and it was a dark chocolate brown in color. Goku started to wonder if such an animal tasted good. The horse seemed to pick up on Goku's train of thought, using its strong neck to butt the boy in the chest, knocking him over. Goku let out a surprised yell as he fell backwards.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sanzo asked.

Goku sat up, pointing a finger at the horse, "I wasn't doing anything! He pushed me!"

"What? You're blaming the horse?" Gojyo snarked.

"GangLi," Xiaozhi said to her steed with a disapproving tone. "You know better than to misbehave."

The horse shook its head, kicking at the ground with one mighty hoof.

Xiaozhi sighed and looked down at Goku apologetically, "I'm sorry about him. I hope you didn't get hurt. He really is gentle most of the time."

"No, I'm fine! Not a scratch!" Goku grinned, standing quickly.

"I wouldn't apologize too fast," Gojyo said. "He was probably thinking about having your poor horse for dinner."

Goku rounded on Gojyo, "I was not!"

Xiaozhi laughed again, "Sorry, afraid he's got too much muscle to be worth eating, tough and stringy," GangLi shifted again. "Sorry, we'll switch the topic. So touchy! He doesn't like being referred to as food or glue."

"We'll keep that in mind," Gojyo laughed.

"I was wondering if you could maybe help us," Hakkai said. "We've been traveling for a while and Sanzo here is quite injured."

Xiaozhi looked over at the blond, "That's what I thought. You didn't look well when I arrived and you look like you've gotten worse since."

"Tch," Sanzo looked away, taking out another cigarette and lighting it.

"We haven't really been able to find a town with a doctor skilled enough to help his injuries heal properly," Hakkai continued. "You look like you know the area fairly well. Maybe you can point us towards someone who can help?"

Xiaozhi seemed to think for a few moments, watching Sanzo as he smoked, said priest determined not to return her gaze.

"Well," She finally started to say. "There is a town I have been staying at just a bit farther West of here. It's small: inn, bar, general store, the usual fair. They don't really have much in the way of a doctor, but they have a Buddhist temple that a Sanzo Priest has been staying at for the past week or so."

Sanzo let his attention be drawn back up to her, the others having a similar reaction.

"A Sanzo Priest? You're sure?" Hakkai asked.

"Robes, title, everything," Xiaozhi answered. "Though I've gotta warn you ahead of time, it's not your typical Sanzo priest."

"Neither is ours," Gojyo jerked his thumb at Sanzo, who glowered at him.

"Fair enough," She continued with a giggle. "From what I've seen, this sanzo has a talent for healing magic. Might be just what you're looking for."

"It's really the only option we have," Hakkai said then turned to Sanzo. "What do you think?"

"Tch… don't know why you're asking me," Sanzo said, stomping out his smoke. "We're heading in that direction anyway."

"I suppose we'll be seeing you there then," Hakkai said, turning back to Xiaozhi.

She smiled back, "Definitely."

Xiaozhi waved to them as she headed off ahead of them and they watched her go. Sanzo lit another cigarette and smoked it as she disappeared.

Hakkai walked up to stand next to him, talking softly so the other two didn't hear, "What do you think, Sanzo?"

"About what?" The monk replied coldly.

"Xiaozhi, she's very odd. She's not like the usual women we've met on our travels."

Sanzo took a brief pause to inhale and exhale a cloud of arid smoke, "She made a fair argument. Even women have to learn how to defend themselves with demons going wild. Whether they have the capability or the spirit to fight back is ultimately up to them."

"You almost sounded like a real monk," Hakkai laughed gently.

"I have my moments."

Hakkai's seriousness arose again, breaking the mood, "Her name bothers me the most though… Xiaozhi Ma. Both you and I know what that name means. Her eyes too, I've never seen anyone with a single golden eye before. The only other person we know with gold eyes is Goku and we know what he is…" Hakkai had looked over his shoulder to glance at Goku.

"I know," Sanzo interrupted. "It may be nothing. We have no reason to jump to conclusions."

"Sanzo…" Hakkai looked back.

"Drop it, Hakkai."

Hakkai did drop it, giving Sanzo a nod before going back to stop an argument that was starting to build tempo between their other companions. Sanzo turned away, bringing his hand up to his lips, holding his cigarette in his mouth as the wind picked up suddenly. He watched the horizon to the West, where the woman with the mismatched eyes disappeared to.

_Xiaozhi Ma_, He thought. _'Lady Priest.'_


	2. Ch 2 - Lady in Robes

Chapter 2 – Lady in Robes

As Xiaozhi Ma had told them, there was a town not far to the West. There was a large hill to the northern side of town with a small temple perched atop it, stone stairs lined with red archways leading up to it. Even from the town roads, they could see gardens of colored flowers and fruit trees.

The Sanzo Party reached the town after nightfall, immediately heading to the inn for dinner and a nights rest. Coming upon the inn, they spotted GangLi, Xiaozhi's horse, tied to a post outside. Parking and getting out of the jeep, the vehicle turned back into Hakuryu, who flew over and landed on Hakkai's shoulder.

"Xiaozhi's here!" Goku said enthusiastically.

"Of course she is, you idiot," Sanzo said. "She told us she was staying here."

"Alright!" Gojyo smirked, starting inside, "Later losers; time for me to work my magic."

Another bullet passed between his antennas and the half demon rounded on the monk, "What was that one for!?"

"Can you not be a letch for once? It's endlessly annoying," Sanzo retorted through clenched teeth.

"Wha? Oh…I see…" Gojyo's tone changed. "I did always wonder…"

"What are you going on about now?"

"What?" Goku asked.

"I always wondered what kinda woman Sanzo would be interested in," Gojyo scratched his chin.

"What?" Goku repeated.

Sanzo caught on a lot quicker than the smallest of them and could feel the vein in his head throb as his patience reached the point of snapping, "I'm warning you."

"The only woman Sanzo could be ever be interested in would have to be a gun toting badass like Xiaozhi!" Gojyo said enthusiastically to Goku, throwing his arms out wide to help his point, "Helps that she has a pretty face and a rocking bod."

"I get it! So you're saying that Sanzo's got a crush on Xiaozhi!" Goku's statement was punctuated by the large dumb smile on his face.

Bullets fired wildly at the two, some coming within millimeters of hitting them.

"I'll kill you!" Sanzo yelled.

xxx

Gojyo's first action upon entering the inn was to ask the innkeeper where Xiaozhi was. Unfortunately for him, finding out that she had gone to bed long before they had arrived.

"Not surprising," Hakkai had reasoned, "as far out as we had been, she must have been traveling for quite some time and with all that equipment."

Gojyo didn't have any choice but to accept the explanation. But it didn't stop him from spending the rest of the night grumbling about how he hadn't been able to flirt with her again.

The usual dinner followed. Sanzo left his god card with Hakkai after he was finished and headed up to his room for the night.

The next morning, Sanzo was awoken by a voice in the next room, chanting a familiar mantra that he had not heard in many years. The window next to his bed was open wide, letting in the warm breeze and, in turn, the voice.

"_oṃ śū nya tā jñā na va jra sva bhā vā tma ko 'haṃ_

_oṃ śūnyatā jñāna vajra svabhāvātmako 'haṃ"_

He knew the chant, it was one his master had taught to him along with the ideal of _hold nothing_, the one teaching he followed far above anything else. It was a mantra called Sūnyatā, teaching of the impermanence of life and all things.

Sanzo glanced out his window. It was a gloomy dark grey outside, the sun begrudgingly trying to rise to the east. Whoever was chanting must be more devote then he, up at the ass crack of dawn to chant a mantra.

He turned over in his bed to try and go back to sleep, to no avail. The chanting continued. Giving in, he sat up, moving to sit in the windowsill and lit a cigarette. Taking a deep inhale and exhale of the smoke, he softly started to chant along with the person in the next room.

What else was there to do so early in the morning when you couldn't go back to sleep? Especially with that familiar voice chanting a familiar mantra just next door.

xxx

It was rough going for Sanzo that morning. His limbs hurt like hell and he swore to himself that he could hear his joints groaning and popping with each movement. Hakkai escorted the irate monk up the steps to the temple for immediate treatment even though Sanzo objected, leaving Gojyo and Goku at the inn alone. GangLi whinnied at them as they left, Hakuryu sitting on the saddle; a funny site indeed.

Xiaozhi was not at the inn at all that morning. Upon questioning the innkeeper, a stout middle aged woman with greying hair, they learned that she had left before they had even come down for breakfast. Gojyo had spent all of his breakfast pouting… again.

The temple itself was small, not lavish, with small colorful gardens on either side of the walkways and fruit trees along the boarding walls.

They were greeted by an elderly monk. Sanzo detached Hakkai from him, informing him that he can walk on his own from here.

Hakkai nodded and smiled, "Alright, I better get back before those two get into too much trouble."

Sanzo only grunted and Hakkai left.

The old man introduced himself: "I am the head of this temple. I am honored by your presence."

Sanzo sighed slightly, annoyed, before giving his usual greeting, "I am 31st of China, Genjo Sanzo."

"I must say, Master, it is rare for two sanzo priests to be visiting the same temple at the same time. Buddha must truly be smiling down on our little compound indeed." The old man said, pressing his hands together in front of his long, white, unruly beard.

"Unfortunately, I didn't come here on official business," Sanzo said with a fake air of divinity. "I was injured quite some time ago and my wounds are refusing to heal properly. I've heard that the sanzo staying here has a talent in healing magic."

"Ah! That is unfortunate." The monk looked disappointed, but did seem concerned about Sanzo's mentioning of injuries. "It is true what you've heard. The _sanzo_ that has been staying with us does have that particular talent. Please follow me."

Sanzo noticed the distaste in referring to the other sanzo by their title, but did not comment on it. He allowed himself to be escorted along the walkways, passing meditation rooms and classrooms as they walked. Finally they came to a stop and the monk moved to opened to door, but suddenly paused, turning to face Sanzo again.

"I must warn you, Master Sanzo," the monk said. "This sanzo priest is not like you. This sanzo is peculiar. I would not want you put out thinking that our small little temple would accept such a person so readily. In fact, if they had not been a sanzo priest, we would have turned them away."

"You speak bluntly," Sanzo said with an eyebrow raised. "You have something against this sanzo?"

"I will let you decide," the monk said as he turned back to the door, opening it slowly.

It was a relatively small meditation room, a statue of Buddha adorned with candles sat against on the opposite wall, one hand outstretched and the other up, palm facing him. Sitting pillows were lined up in front of the statue, just one at first then rows of five behind that. Sitting on the first pillow was a figure in robes. Sanzo could not see any details of the person from this distance.

"Master Sanzo," The monk bowed. "Master Genjo Sanzo is here to see you for healing."

The figure turned its head to the side slightly and nodded. The old monk bowed Sanzo inside and closed the door behind him. Once the door was closed, Sanzo approached the figure, stopping a few feet behind it.

The sanzo priest was praying, hands pressed together. The golden crown and white shawl that was perched atop its head was just like Sanzo's own. The robes were the same as well, but a brighter wash; the figure seemed too small for the robes, the sleeves and waist bunching in rolls of fabric. However, no sutra adorned its shoulders, that fact making sanzo raise an eyebrow more than anything. From this angle, he could not see the person's face.

"The monk said you were peculiar," Sanzo said, taking no mind to the fact that the other sanzo was actively praying. "What does he mean? Is he referring to your size or the fact that you have no sutra to prove who you are? You're a lot smaller than any normal man, unless you're a child."

The figure stood, turning slowly. As they turned, they placed a hand on the crown and removed it from their head. A curtain of black hair fell from its hiding place to fall far past the person's waist and Sanzo's eyes were met with one dark eye and one golden eye, a red chakra on her forehead, symbolizing divine approval.

"It's you," Sanzo said, with little surprise in his voice.

"You sound as if you were expecting me," Xiaozhi smiled.

Sanzo felt one corner of his mouth curl upward as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, "I suppose I was, but you already knew that. You were hesitant to tell us your name. You must have known that I would know what it meant."

"Yeah," Xiaozhi held up her arms, showing him the oversized sleeves of her sanzo robes. "My father wasn't very imaginative I suppose."

Sanzo's brow rose nearly to his hairline, "Father? You mean your Master?"

Xiaozhi laughed, "That too. No, my father, my biological father."

"But it's forbidden for…"

"Yes, but isn't it also forbidden for sanzo's to smoke and use weapons of deadly force?" Xiaozhi said, raising a finger pointedly. "I don't mean to insult, but you don't set the standard, do you?"

Sanzo only shrugged. This woman was good.

"I have questions," Sanzo said.

"And I plan to answer them," Xiaozhi responded. "But you're injured, if I remember correctly. You came here so I could heal you. We need to take care of that first."

Sanzo wasn't going to verbalize it, but what she said was true. There was pain building in his legs as he stood there talking with her, his arms throbbing dully. The next time he saw Ukoku, he was going to kill the bastard.

"Here," Xiaozhi motioned toward a wooden chair that he hadn't noticed before, situated sideways in front of the Buddha statue. "Sit."

He hesitated for a moment, watching her as she went closer to the statue, using an already burning candle to light one of the incense sticks in the statue's outstretched hand. The gentle and relaxing scent of lotus blossoms started to fill the room.

"Every monk I've ever come across uses such strongly scented sticks," Xiaozhi turned her attention back to him. "I find this work just as well… without burning out your nose hairs. Problem is the monks have been throwing them out whenever I leave, so I have to keep replacing them."

"They don't respect you," Sanzo stated bluntly, thinking back to what the old monk had said to him.

"If I was a normal girl wanting to pray and practice Buddhism here, they wouldn't have thought twice about throwing me out on my backside. It's only because I'm a sanzo that they let me keep coming back here. Though, it doesn't mean that they like it. They refused to let me stay here, after all."

"That was made obvious," Sanzo scoffed and sat down. "But, it can't be helped when you don't even have your robes tailored to fit you."

Xiaozhi laughed and kneeled down in front of him, "I must look strange, but I find it quite fitting."

"Fitting?"

She nodded, "I never fit in at the temple I was raised at. The monks always looked down on me, called me names, treated me poorly, and their actions were even worse when my father wasn't around; All because I was a woman. These robes, the fact that they don't fit me, I feel it's more of a symbol that I don't quite fit into this role given to me. Who knows, maybe it makes the monks feel better about having me here."

Sanzo felt the expression on his face soften, blaming it on the relaxing scent wafting throughout the room, not on the woman kneeling in front of him.

"But, we've wasted enough time chatting. I've got a job to do." Xiaoshi bowed her head, closing her eyes and brought her hands up.

Sanzo watched, fascinated. Xiaozhi brought her hands together in the usual praying manner; her brows knitted together in concentration, but said nothing. Sanzo's eyes widened, watching as the space between her hands began to glow white, gently at first then brighter and brighter. She separated her hands slowly, keeping her eyes closed, the glow remaining.

She held her hands out to Sanzo, palms up, "You're hands."

Sanzo reached both his hands out, hesitating inches above the glow before setting his palms against hers. Her palms were impossibly hot and Sanzo wanted to pull his hands away, but Xiaozhi was gently keeping their hands together. All intentions of pulling away seemed to drain out of him.

Xiaozhi started to chant under her breath, strange words he had not heard before. The words seemed to flow into him through his ears and course through his blood; the sound of her voice, her gentle timbre, flowing through him, relaxing every muscle in his body. His arms and legs started to tingle, as if he had slept on them strange. The tingling started to travel through each limb towards where his and Xiaozhi's hands were connected, where the tingling seemed to exit his body.

Sanzo chanced a glance up at her face, realizing that he'd been looking down at their hands the whole time. He watched her, the calm look on her face, her steady breathing as she chanted.

He felt the last tingle leave through his hands as the glow started to reseed and finally disappear. Her chant ended and she withdrew her hands from his, opening her eyes.

She looked up at him and smiled, "How are you now?"

Sanzo blinked. He had nearly forgotten. He stood, Xiaozhi getting to her feet as well and standing back so he had his personal space. Sanzo tested his legs, bouncing his heels against the wooden floor, his right then his left. He flexed his arms as well, opening and closing his fists. There was no pain.

"Well?"

He looked back up at her. She was still smiling.

"How did you do that?"

Xiaozhi waved a dismissive hand, turning to put out the incense she had lit earlier, "I have certain talents. That one is particularly useful, don't you think?"

"I suppose." Sanzo avoided her eyes when she turned back.

She blinked, paused then giggled, raising a hand to cover her mouth.

Sanzo narrowed his eyes, "What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Xiaozhi answered. "Let me walk you back. I'm sure you have more questions and your friends will need to have things explained to them as well. Better to take care of all of that at once, don't you agree?"

Sanzo shrugged, "If that's what you want."

Xiaozhi took a moment to pack up the remainder of her incense, storing them inside her robes, before walking with Sanzo down to the village and to the inn, where the others of Sanzo's group waited for his return.


	3. Ch 3 - Strange Feelings

Chapter 3: Strange Feelings

They were starting to get inpatient, Gojyo and Goku. The two were fighting again, but Hakkai had become an expert at tuning them out; something Sanzo never really could learn how to do. He was beginning to worry if something had happened, if he should have stayed. Leaving Sanzo alone nowadays seemed to lead to trouble more often then not. It seemed as if whenever they all split from him, the blond always found a way to get himself in mortal danger.

Hakkai's worries were put aside when the door to the inn opened. Gojyo and Goku looked up as well, distracted from their current argument. Sanzo entered first, with his old stiff saunter instead of the limps he had been sporting as of late. When he turned slightly at the door, arms tucked in his sleeves, it became obvious that he was not returning alone. Xiaozhi entered next, dressed in sanzo garb, making Gojyo and Goku's mouths hang open. She said something to Sanzo, who nodded pertly, and quickly made her way up to the guest rooms.

Sanzo went over to their table and sat down without a word. Well, one word, to the waitress who came up to him: "Alcohol."

There was silence for a few minutes as the waitress came back with a bottle and a tumbler and left them in front of him.

As he poured, Goku was the first to break the silence. "Sanzo, what was that all about?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Hakkai answered for him. "Xiaozhi is the sanzo priest she had told us about yesterday. She was the one who healed Sanzo. So they came back together."

"You knew?" Gojyo looked unbelievingly at Hakkai. "But how could you? She never…"

"You're a little rusty on your name translations." Hakkai said pointedly. "What does her name mean?"

There was silence from the other side of the table for many long moments until…

"Son of a…" Gojyo said, putting his head in his hands.

"Sanzo and I figured it out almost immediately." Hakkai laughed lightly.

"Why didn't you say something?" Goku asked.

Gojyo then added, yelling slightly: "And why did you let me make a fool of myself! You let me hit on a…"

"I did stop you," Sanzo said nonchalantly, drinking from his tumbler.

"By firing a bullet at my head!" Gojyo yelled.

"My, everyone is so energetic this morning!" Xiaozhi had returned, changed into something similar to what they had seen her in yesterday, she was pulling a chair up next to Sanzo.

Sanzo nothing about her movement, but eyed her warily. Their waitress came up to her as well, her smile much larger. Xiaozhi merely asked for a tumbler for herself, which she received quickly.

"I hope you don't mind," Xiaozhi said, picking up Sanzo's bottle of liquor and pouring her some. "I need this after dealing with those sexist idiots all morning."

They all watched her, blinking.

Gojyo asked: "Aren't you not supposed to do that?"

Xiaozhi looked at him over the rim of her glass, just about to drink. "I'd say standards aren't pretty high, don't you think? Besides, no matter what temple I go to, the monks don't give a damn what I do."

"Point taken," Hakkai said; they watched as a group walked by, stopping to bow to her briefly before continuing on their way. "The villagers seem to like you well enough though."

"I've been protecting them," she said shortly, gulping down the rest of her drink.

_Demons_… Everyone seemed to think at once.

There was silence as she refilled her glass, until Sanzo decided it was time to bring up their earlier conversation. "I believe you have some explaining to do."

"Hm?" She looked up at him, mid sip. "Oh! Yes, of course. You had questions." She set her glass down. "Go ahead, ask away."

"You said that your Master was also your Father, explain." Sanzo said, and everyone looked at her with wide eyes.

She sighed, "You get right to the point. No playing around for you, huh? Well, it's really just that simple. I was raised in a temple to the North by my Father, who happened to be a sanzo priest."

"There has to be more to it than that," Sanzo glowered.

"Apologies, but I don't know all the steamy details," she glared.

Hakkai asked the next question, "What about you're Mother? You said you were raised by your Father but not you're Mother too?"

"You guys are not going to let me give the short explanations, are you?"

"Not really," Gojyo grinned, having gained back some of his edge from yesterday; the fact that she could basically do whatever she wanted giving him some hope. "We're curious like that."

Xiaozhi sighed again, "Fine. My Father traveled quite a lot after he became a sanzo. He'd traveled to the East, where he met my Mother. I can't, and won't, go into detail, but he eventually left the East and returned back to his temple. Months later I arrived on the temple doorstep with a letter to my Father from my Mother. I stayed there until I was sixteen or so, after I inherited his title, and traveled West."

"He raised you to succeed him?" Hakkai asked.

Xiaozhi nodded.

"What happened to your Father?" Goku asked.

Xiaozhi wrapped both her hands around her glass. "When I was fourteen, my Father traveled into the desert far to the South of us. He had said he had gotten a message that a village out there was in need of help. Told me he'd be home as soon as he could. My Father never returned from that trip. Of what I heard, there was a scorpion demon in that desert that must have eaten him. His scripture was never recovered."

The four others at the table looked up at each other. They had met that demon before. Sanzo had killed it. But for all they knew, her Father's and now her scripture was even more buried then it was before. Sanzo saw Goku starting to open his mouth but stopped him with one quick negative shake of his head. Xiaozhi didn't need to hear about their encounter with her Father's murderer today.

"It took two years to hear of his death?" Gojyo asked.

"We were pretty high up in the mountains, it takes a long time to get anywhere." Xiaozhi responded. "Most of that was traveling though mountains and desert on foot."

"I'm sorry… about your Dad…" Goku said quietly.

Xiaozhi blinked at him then smiled. "It's okay Goku. I'm just happy thinking that he doesn't have to see how everything has turned."

"Yes, things have gotten worse," Hakkai said thoughtfully. "I wonder though. Why West?"

"It just… felt like the right direction, you know?" Xiaozhi said, seeming a little uncomfortable.

"Not really." Sanzo gave her a sideways glance. "I can't help but think that there's more you aren't telling us."

"Oh! Well, everyone has things they don't want… that they don't like to talk about. Even you all, right?"

All four found new directions to look in.

"That's what I thought." Xiaozhi nodded and got up. "Thank you for the drink."

"Where're you…?" Gojyo started.

"Just going for a ride, I'll be back later!" She smiled as she left.

There was the sound of retreating hooves from outside a couple minutes later.

"Well, that was interesting!" Gojyo said.

Sanzo snorted, lighting a cigarette.

"Indeed," Hakkai continued Gojyo's thought. "A sanzo made not by choice, but by blood. I can only imagine how many angry monks there were in her temple when they found out."

"She told me that the monks terrorized her as she was growing up." Sanzo stated after taking a drag from his smoke.

"Train for who knows how long and have your dreams crushed by a cooing bundle in a basket, one that happens to also be a girl." Gojyo leaned back in his chair. "I think you'd be pissed off too."

"I wonder how much of that her Father knew about," Hakkai said thoughtfully.

"He had to! Right? She couldn't have gone her whole life being picked on like that…" Goku said.

"You'd be surprised how petty monks can be," Sanzo stated.

xxx

The conversation dissipated after that and they spent the rest of the day plotting out their next course. Eventually, Hakkai took Gojyo and Goku shopping for supplies, as they had decided to leave the next day. Sanzo passed on the shopping trip and instead decided to go for a walk alone. It had been quite a while since he had full use of his legs and he was damn well going to use them.

His path took him to the Western edge of town, where the sun was slowly starting to sink to the horizon. A familiar animal caught his eye, tied to a metal gate surrounding what looked like a fairly new graveyard. Sanzo continued in that direction, walking past GangLi, who snorted at him, and through the haphazard gate. There were rows and rows of gravestones, carved into and carefully stood over mounds of earth. Each mound was situated with a small bundle of flowers atop them. Xiaozhi was in the last row, praying before a new grave, a comparatively smaller grave to the other ones.

Sanzo went to stand behind her, making sure to keep his distance. She had felt his presence and lowered her hands, remaining where she was.

"It's odd," She said. "With all the death around us nowadays, caused by the conflict between humans and demons, I sometimes forget that it's possible for us to die in a somewhat normal manner."

Sanzo tilted his head to the side slightly, "What do you mean?"

Xiaozhi sighed, "I helped deliver a baby today. The Father flagged me down as I was riding and wanted me nearby to bless his child once it was born."

Sanzo anticipated her next statement, but said nothing. He moved next to her and kneeled down.

"But the child," she continued. "Their child didn't take a living breath in this world."

"You can't blame yourself for that," Sanzo said, situating himself to sit cross-legged and lit a cigarette. "The child was probably dead before you were even flagged."

Xiaozhi smiled bitterly, a look that, Sanzo decided, didn't fit her pretty face. "I wonder though. My existence is so… unnatural, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Now you sound like Gojyo."

She sighed, "Because he's a half-breed." She caught sight of the raised brow on his face. "Don't be surprised, just cause I'm a girl doesn't make me an idiot."

"I never said that."

"I know." She laughed, but her laughter quickly faded. "You're right though, I do sound like such a doomsayer when I say something like that. It probably isn't me. But what I am… I mean… I've traveled for four years and have never heard of another instance like mine!"

Sanzo took another drag of his smoke, "Nether have I." Sanzo looked down at the small grave. "You named the child?"

She nodded, her cheeks turning pink. "It didn't feel right, letting her move on without at least having a name to move on with."

"Gesshoku…" Sanzo contemplated the name carved into the stone.

Xiaozhi laughed lightly, embarrassed. "Silly, I know, naming a child after something insubstantial like moonlight. I probably shouldn't have even bothered. Her parents weren't even going to…"

Sanzo interrupted: "I like it."

Xiaozhi blinked and looked over at him. He wasn't looking at her, but continued to smoke quietly, watching the sun descend. She watched the light from the setting sun play pleasantly with the contours of his face and with the color of his bright blond hair. His deep violet eyes were intense as he stared off at the horizon. When he turned his head slightly to glance at her, she had to look away quickly, her face turning a brighter shade of pink.

Now he was the one admiring her, without meaning to. He had briefly let himself notice her beauty before, but now, sitting in the sunset with her, this close to her, he could see her in a lot more detail. Her long hair pooled around her and her skin, which he had taken as tanner before, was actually quiet pale. Her eyes were by far the most stunning, both taking on a different effect in the current light. Her gold eye was like liquid fire, reminding him of the first time he had seen her, riding over that hill at full pelt.

Sanzo's hands started to shake as he felt warmth pool in the pit of his stomach. It was a new feeling, strange, exciting, and terrifying. He glanced down and found that her hand nearest him was pressed palm down against the ground next to him. He crossed his arms inside his sleeves, turning his hands into fists in order to prevent himself from doing something stupid. This feeling made him uncomfortable and he didn't like it.

"Sanzo?"

Her voice calling to him made it worse. He found it somewhat hard to concentrate.

"Hn?" He brought a hand up to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

"Would you mind terribly if I came with you all?"

He looked at her again, giving her a suspicious glare, the best one he could muster at the moment. But it was gone as he watched her nervously chew at her bottom lip, keeping her gaze away from him. Dammit, why was he finding every little movement and gesture she made attractive?

"Why would you want to do that? I thought you were protecting these people."

She sighed. "Honestly? There really isn't much more I can do for them. If I stayed much longer, they'd expect me to live here. And those monks would rather me leave then stay here in their town another day."

"I see your point." Sanzo stubbed his cigarette out in the soft earth, being mindful to keep it far away from the small grave.

"Besides, I've traveled all over this region," Xiaozhi added. "Going farther West sounds a lot more interesting."

"You realize that would just take you deeper into India, into demon territory."

"I think I've proven that I can handle myself." She smiled at him.

Sanzo couldn't help the small amused smile that turned up the corners of his lips ever so slightly, or the chuckle that rose in his chest. "That you have. You'd better keep that up, because I don't allow for any weakness. You carry your own slack."

"Don't worry about me," she responded as he stood, standing as well.

She was so much smaller then him, her height had caught him somewhat off guard as they stood together in that makeshift graveyard. She just reached over his shoulders, with the help of the inch of heel her boots gave her. He had barely noticed in the temple how small she was, as she had been swimming in the fabric of her robes, or when he had first met her, as she had seemed so much taller sitting atop her steed. No, she was small and delicate, around Goku's height, much shorter then himself. And wait… how old was she again? Only 20? She was five years younger than him.

_This is dangerous ground I'm treading_, Sanzo thought to himself pinching the bridge of his nose.

Xiaozhi gave him a curious look, but did not comment on his odd behavior. Instead, she smiled and said: "I'm going to head back with GangLi. Would you like to walk with us?"

"It's best that I stay here for a little longer." He was still pinching, eyes closed. "We're leaving early in the morning."

"Right, good night then."

He watched her leave, opening his eyes and lowering his hand slightly to do so. He allowed himself to admire, albeit briefly, her maturity and tenacity for someone as young and small as her. When the brief moment passed, he growled at himself, crossing his arms in the sleeves of his robes once again. He had to get a handle on himself. Just because he discovered the _first_ woman he actually found attractive, does not mean he can go and start thinking strange thoughts.

_No, those sorts of things are what the idiot Kappa would do. Not me. _He thought as he started walking back alone. _I will bite off my own tongue if I ever catch myself doing something that mortifying_.

xxx

It hadn't been the best thought to close out the day with, but it couldn't be helped. It had been better then waiting for the rest of his companions to return to take his mind off of _her_. Sanzo went up to his room and went right to bed once he returned, thankful that he wouldn't have to hear Gojyo's griping about him going to bed so incredibly early.

_Perhaps if you went to bed earlier, idiot, you would be able to get up when it's time for us to leave!_ Sanzo thought as he lay against the hard mattress, one arm under his head, eyes closed, trying to lull himself to sleep.

He eventually did sleep and dreamed as he usually did, of the past he couldn't quite escape. The faces that wouldn't leave him seemed so much more real when he slept.

When he woke, it was begrudgingly, violet eyes opening slowly. He was confused for a moment as to what had woken him, until he heard it, the same voice he had heard the previous morning, chanting the same mantra. It was that familiar voice that he now knew the owner of, that sweetly addicting voice that wafted through his open window; the voice of the only woman he knew by name.

He sat up and situated himself in the windowsill, as he had the morning before, lighting himself a cigarette. Sanzo inhaled slowly and exhaled a cloud of smoke. But he didn't chant with her this time. Instead, he outright spoke to her.

"It's you chanting, isn't it?"

Xiaozhi stopped mid-syllable, surprised. She had no idea that their rooms were next to each other and hearing his voice so suddenly almost made her break her posture, cross-legged on her bed facing the open window.

"Did I wake you?"

"You woke me yesterday as well."

"I'm sorry. Old habits die hard, I guess," she laughed awkwardly.

Smoke, "You're father taught you that mantra?"

"Yes and many others as well," he could almost hear the smile as she spoke.

"You know Muichimotsu then."

There was a pause, "Yes, but I don't really believe that it's really true."

Sanzo found himself choking on his inhale of smoke. When he recovered, he questioned her reasoning.

"The teaching just doesn't really seem realistic to me. To _hold nothing_… can someone really hold absolutely nothing?–To live their life completely free of everything material and otherwise?"

"Why not?" Irritation slipped into Sanzo's voice; the woman was questioning a teaching that he'd built his life on, that his Master had believed was important!

"If you truly held nothing, would you continue to feed your addiction to smoking? If you held nothing, you wouldn't buy such things because they were clearly important and material."

Sanzo blinked and looked down at the stick of tobacco between his fingers.

"If you held nothing, you wouldn't carry a gun. Such a thing is a worldly possession and you wouldn't continue to keep it because it is important to stay with your belief."

Sanzo's gaze moved to the banishing gun resting on the table next to the bed, set there for any emergencies that may arise.

"Even your own memories, which are very important to who you are, would need to be given up at some point. I've seen so many monks who try to follow muichimotsu who give up on who they were because they felt it would get them closer to the Buddha."

"You may have a point." Sanzo admitted before taking another drag from his cigarette.

"Just may?" He got the sense she was smiling again. "My Father, he had taught me that even with muichimotsu, it's important to hold onto some things. If you go your whole life without anything or anyone, at the end, you'll reflect back to find that you lived nothing but a lonely and pathetic existence."

"Harsh."

"But true. There are certain things that are very important to hold onto. Your memories, your friends, even if they do annoy you sometimes…"

"All of the time," Sanzo interrupted but she ignored him.

"…and your own life," She finished. "After all, you're nothing without the life you've been given to live."

"I wonder…"

"Hm?"

Sanzo looked out over the early morning, watching as the rising sun slowly changed the horizon from grey to gold. Gold… like her right eye.

"I wonder if I even am alive sometimes. A lot of the time, it's like I'm in some stupid dream that never ends; nothing but idiots and idiotic situations wherever I go, like they were placed there just to annoy me. Like this is some punishment for a past I can't change."

There was silence from next door for quite some time. He remained in the windowsill after his confession, words that he had never told anyone, smoking in silence. For a moment, Sanzo thought that she was gone, until he heard the faint creak of her bedsprings and her soft grunts as she moved to sit in her window just as he was in his. He could see her hair flow in waves in the faint morning light.

From where Xiaozhi was, she could tell they were facing each other, catching sight of the bunch of his robes at his waist just past the frame of her window. Every once in a while his hand would reach out to flick ashes into the street. The wind was blowing towards him, but she could still smell him from where she was, just as she'd been able to the multitude of times the day before; cigarettes, a monk who smelled distinctly like an unwashed ashtray. She wondered briefly if the scent was now ingrained in him so deep that he would always smell that way.

"We all have a past we can't change," she said finally, without clarification. "If you think you're the only one who looses sleep over it then you're the idiot."

There was no more talk after that. Xiaozhi had removed herself from her window and closed the shutters. Almost instantly, Sanzo was hoping she would return and talk with him more, but she didn't. Her words struck him dumb, his mouth hanging open slightly. He knew he wasn't the only one. The other three in his group were in the same boat as he, not the exact same, but all four of them had pasts they would rather not discuss. Did she think he assumed she wasn't the same? How could he not? She was everything he wasn't. She wasn't… scarred.

Sanzo growled, _I'm allowing myself to get carried away again. What is wrong with me!?_

xxx

By the time they all met up in front of the inn, Sanzo had gotten himself under control. He took his seat in Hakuryu's jeep form before anyone else and watched, out of the corner of his eye, as Xiaozhi tacked and saddled GangLi, Goku and Gojyo the interested observers. Hakkai was placing their bags in the back between where Goku and Gojyo would be sitting when he turned to her and asked the obvious question.

"Xiaozhi, are you sure you'll be able to keep up with us? I mean no offence to GangLi, but a horse is not as fast as a car."

Xiaozhi didn't answer as she gently forced the bit into GangLi's mouth, her onlookers letting out a relieved breath when she did it successfully, "Don't worry, we're faster then we look. And would you two calm down! I've done this hundreds of times. GangLi wouldn't bite the hand that feeds him. He knows I don't taste very good."

She laughed as the horse snorted, drawing its head back a few inches as if in disgust at the idea. Eating a human hand, gross!

Finally set to leave, the Sanzo Party settled into their respective seats and Xiaozhi settled atop her steed, saddlebags tied down securely. As Hakkai started up Hakuryu, Sanzo noticed Xiaozhi lean down to whisper something as close to GangLi's ear as she could reach. The horse perked up, head rocking up and down a couple times as if in affirmation.

"Ready?" Hakkai looked up at her.

"I'll give you a head start." Xiaozhi grinned, obviously knowing something they didn't.

"You'll get left behind," Gojyo stated.

Xiaozhi said nothing, but let go of the reins with one hand to motion towards the road. Hakkai just shrugged and tapped the gas, sending Hakuryu forward, though not at their usual breakneck pace. They were out of town in a couple minutes and there was still no sign of Xiaozhi.

"What happened?" Goku looked behind them. "Did she get held up?"

"Maybe something was wrong with…"

Before Hakkai could finish, GangLi raced past them. He looked back to find Goku's mouth hanging open, as if he was going to tell them she was coming, but didn't have enough time.

"So that's how it is." Hakkai had that smile on his face and it made them all nervous. "Hakuryu, I believe you have a challenge."

The Jeep chirped in response and the others had no time to voice objections before they sped off after the horse. As they raced up next to Xiaozhi, she turned her head and laughed.

"That's more like it! Here I was thinking you were all a bunch of old fogies!"

"Not likely!" Was Hakkai's short, but effective, response.

Sanzo didn't bother hiding the fact that he was watching her ride; Goku and Gojyo were as well from their places in the back seat. She was nearly standing in the stirrups, bent forward so she was nearly parallel with the ground. He could see only her right eye. It was sparkling with the same fire that reminded him of their first meeting. Warmth spread through Sanzo again, unwanted.

_Yes, very dangerous ground_. He thought. _Who the hell is this woman?_

*End of chapter 3 and things are getting interesting! ^_^ Poor Sanzo has no idea what is wrong with him and I'm enjoying every minute of it! XD Ah well, it's far from over yet. If you've seen the anime, then you already know a little of what's up with Xiaozhi. Just, please, don't post any spoilery comments regarding that particular topic for those who haven't. Thank you!*


	4. Ch 4 - Drink with Gojyo

* The next few chapters are dedicated to some events that happen during their travels. Covering everything, as I have attempted to do in past revisions of this chapter, just doesn't work and doesn't really flow properly. So I'm going to be doing snippet chapters of important things that happen; conversations, battles, blah blah blah. The usual Sanzo Party stuff happens, as we have experienced in both manga and anime, I'm just not going to cover it. This is the first one, I hope you enjoy it!*

Chapter 4: Drink with Gojyo

Gojyo sat at the bar staring into his drink, thinking. Maybe he was losing his edge after all. That's what he gets for traveling with a bunch of dudes for… what was it, three years now? Shit… three years was a long time. He had it good three years ago; same town with the same girls, he could count on a lay when he wanted one. Now he was lucky if they came across somewhere decent to stay every few days, never mind if the girls caught his eye or not. He was lucky to get his own room half the time.

Xiaozhi was a lucky break. She was something pretty he could look at when he was sick of staring at the same old landscape or the same crappy companion's day in and day out. And damn was she pretty. Never mind the whole priest thing, Gojyo could look past that and he has. But she just didn't seem interested. Every night he chatted her up. Okay, maybe he had been a bit too forward at first, but he'd changed his game up after that. She still turned him down, even before he had a chance to say anything remotely about it! It's like she could read his mind!

"Okay, maybe I'm not that hard to read," Gojyo mumbled to himself, clutching his beer can between his hands. "But we've been travelling together for a few weeks now. Come on… give a guy a break. Any other Girl would've usually folded a little bit by now, especially when I'm puttin' my moves on."

"Interesting conversation?"

He knew that voice. Gojyo turned to see Xiaozhi moving to sit next to him at the bar. The corners of her lips turned upwards into her usual pretty smile.

"Just got more interesting," he grinned. "What would you be doing here?"

"Just felt like coming out for a quick drink," Xiaozhi said and ordered a whiskey when the barman worked his way over to her. "Hakkai's busy feeding Goku. So, I tried to get Sanzo to come out with me, but he was having none of it."

The smirk remained on Gojyo's face as he leaned his elbow against the counter, resting his chin on his hand. He watched her take a first content swig from her tumbler. "Hm…"

The look didn't go unnoticed. "What?"

"Nothing! Just admiring," Gojyo said smoothly. "I mean it when I say that you're stunning."

Xiaozhi sighed and set her glass down none too gently, "You don't give up, do you?"

"Not really, I've got a one track mind."

"More like a hard head."

He blinked.

Another sigh, "Look, I'm not stupid. You can shower me with all the compliments you want, it isn't going to work."

"What isn't?" Gojyo blinked again; trying to look innocent… it didn't work.

"You're trying to get into my pants. You're not going to, so you might as well quit it."

He had been blatantly called out. No woman had ever called him out on his game before, at least not so plainly. There was really no way for him to get away without embarrassing himself farther.

"Why?"

Gojyo was taken aback. Did she really… "Wha…"

"You heard me. Why? I assume I'm not the first girl you've pulled, or tried to pull this on. Why would you do it?"

She did ask. No girl back home had ever asked before. And none he'd met on the road would think to, he was as much a quick lay to them as they were to him. Gojyo couldn't keep eye contact anymore; those dual colored eyes were bearing into his, not judging but waiting patiently for some kind of answer. He couldn't tell her 'just cause.' This girl was smart enough to be able to smell it as bullshit before it even finished leaving his mouth.

The truth then, as uncomfortable as it was to talk about? Maybe she wouldn't judge. She was of their ilk, right? There was something about her that was mysterious. Sanzo seemed to sense it right away but wasn't sharing any of his suspicions. Yeah, that was it, mysterious was the right word to describe her.

Gojyo let the truth spill from his lips before he could stop himself. Love… that was the whole reason; that one little thing that tore him apart before, that he was looking to put him back together with.

Xiaozhi was quiet, thinking over Gojyo's story as he closed it off by drowning down the rest of his beer. It was very sad. A child shouldn't have to go through so much just to be accepted by his own family. But that woman wasn't really his family, was she? She was his step mother; he shouldn't have really needed her acceptance, right?

Xiaozhi glanced over at him. He was staring down at his empty can looking awkward, just like a child.

_No, acceptance is everything, isn't it?_ Xiaozhi thought, feeling distraught at her previous thoughts. _I know that… don't I?_

"You're doing it wrong, you know?" She said and Gojyo looked up at her, confused.

The look made her want to laugh. "What you've been doing, yeah, it's affective for getting girls into bed and all. But if love is what you're looking for, you're kinda putting everything out at once, you know?"

Gojyo's brows nearly rose to his hairline, "You're giving me advice about love? You who was raised in a temple your whole life. Have you even been in love before?"

Xiaozhi felt her face heat up and was sure she had almost turned as dark as Gojyo's hair, "Shut up! I'm a girl! If you don't want to hear advice from a girl, about girls, then I'm going to leave!"

"Woah! Down girl! I'm listening," Gojyo was smiling again, a laugh rising in his throat.

Xiaozhi huffed, showing her age. Sometimes it was hard for any of them to believe that she was only twenty.

"Whatever. Have you even thought about what you're looking for in a woman?"

"Well, she has to have a rocking body and big…" Gojyo's sentence was cut short when Xiaozhi reached up and smacked the back of his head.

Her cheeks were still tinged pink. "Not physical traits, idiot!"

"… Beautiful eyes," the playful expression on his face as he finished made Xiaozhi pout. "What? You were the one who went straight into the gutter."

"Shut up," Xiaozhi huffed and turned back to her drink.

_Very much like Sanzo_, Gojyo thought to himself, chuckling. "I hadn't really thought about it."

"We'll, if you do find a girl you honestly start falling in love with, I hope you don't make a fool of yourself. She'd have a time keeping you in check." She didn't look at him as she said this.

"What about you?"

She said bluntly: "I'm not a lesbian."

"Thank god for that!" Gojyo threw a hand up. "No, I meant, what would you look for in someone?"

"I'd never really had the luxury to think about it," Xiaozhi set her glass down and scratched at the hair just above her temple. "I _was_ raised in a temple for most of my life. I've only been out in the world for four years."

"Well, you have the luxury now."

Xiaozhi was quiet for some time, looking down into her glass. She had drained most of the liquid; only enough for one gulp remained, creating a thin amber pool in the bottom of the container. Gojyo watched her think, catching a glimpse of the mystery that his companions often talked about. She was hiding something complex behind those dual colored eyes.

Finally she said: "I would want someone who would understand, who would accept what I am."

"I think we all do," there was no joking in Gojyo's voice, he understood her answer. "We accept you, Xiaozhi."

The smile she gave him was not sad, but spoke that he really didn't understand the real meaning behind her answer. Gojyo doubted if he ever would.

He tried to bring back her real smile, grinning wide as he said: "What if you fell in love with me?"

Xiaozhi tried to fight back the laugh that built up in her throat but it was no use. "Sorry, Gojyo, but you really aren't my type."

"Aw! Why not? I blew it, didn't I? Did I come on too strong?" Gojyo tried to sound distraught but his smile gave him away, happy that he was able to make her laugh.

"Nah," Xiaozhi drained her glass and went to get up, pushing her stool under the counter she turned and winked at him. "Way too tall."

Gojyo's jaw dropped and he watched her work her way out.

As she retreated she called over her shoulder, "Your treat, right?" And she was gone.

Gojyo closed his mouth and turned back to the counter. He started laughing, catching the bartender's attention. The older man made his way over, noticing that Xiaozhi had left. Gojyo shook his head, noticing the man's look.

"Don't worry man, I'm covering her drink. She beat me fair and square. _Too tall_…" With that, Gojyo burst into another fit of laughter.


	5. Ch 5 - Journey West

Chapter 5: Journey West

It was another bright day as the Sanzo Party, accompanied by Xiaozhi Ma, travelled to Houtu Castle. As they made their way through India, the instances between villages became farther and farther between.

As they walked through the most resent village market to stock up on supplies, one particular stall caught Xiaozhi's eye. It was a simple wooden construction with a colorful cloth roof covering over the table of the stall. The table itself was laden down with books of different bindings and parchments. She made her way over and started browsing through the books.

"Looking for a new book?" Hakkai walked up next to her.

She nodded, setting down a red one she had picked up, "I've already read through all the ones I have about a dozen times. Do you take trades?" She directed her question to the peddler.

The elderly man behind the stall smoking a large pipe answered, "Of course. It is rare for me to have such a pretty young lady come looking at my wares. I've collected these books throughout a lifetime. If you see anything that interests your pretty mind, let me know and I shall hold them for you. Then you bring me what you have and we shall discuss a trade."

Xiaozhi smiled, excited and continued to browse.

Hakkai turned to Sanzo. "What about you, Sanzo? You've been reading the same couple things for three years."

Sanzo just huffed and turned to light a cigarette. Xiaozhi's attention turned to him.

"I can get you something if you want. I've got plenty of books to trade."

She was smiling at him again. Sanzo felt his heart speed up and he had to look away to gain control over his faculties.

"Do what you want."

She turned back to the table. A particular title caught her eye and she picked it up, opening the cover to the title page.

"What's this?"

The elderly man spoke, "That is a most recent novel that I picked up. I gentleman traveling West traded me with it. I believe he had known the man who had written it."

"Journey West," Xiaozhi read, "The tale of a Monk who travels on a holy mission to defeat a great evil with three companions; a pig, a water sprite, and a monkey."

There was a pause.

"That sounds familiar," Gojyo smirked.

Sanzo walked away and said blandly: "Fanfiction…"

Goku smiled awkwardly.

Hakkai looked down curiously at the book in Xiaozhi's hands, "I wonder who plays the pig?"

*Just a little something. XD Like all great ideas, I came up with this when I was in the shower the morning I posted this and it made me laugh. The idea was, obviously, the Sanzo Party, in their travels, comes across the original story that their tale is based on. Just another little side story while I prepare a more plot important chapter.*


	6. Ch 6 - Rain

***I'm finally getting back to writing this story. How long has it been ^-^' I don't even remember… but yeah, back to it.

Like Phantoms of Amity Park I'm just kinda letting this one flow. Chapters are landing where they want. I've got about three or so ready to put up, so I'll be working on posting those over the next few days.

Once again, OOCness is bound to happen, so no flaming please. Just remember that this is a fan-work. Plot bunnies are rolling around in my head, so I've got a lot of ideas that I'm not sure if I'm gonna use.

Enjoy! (^_^) Hugs for my fans for sticking with me!***

Chapter 6: Rain

The clouds swirled over head as they pulled up to the old farm house. It was a quaint little one story building, described to them as having three small bedrooms, a large living space, kitchen, and both a front and back porch. Large pastures of horses and cattle took up the majority of the land, dotted with large brown cows, bulls, and impressive breeding horses. In the distance, resting in the pasture was a large barn; old, but sturdy. This homestead rested just outside a fairly large trade town. The owners, a young couple, no longer lived on the property; instead renting the house to travelers and hiring others to tend to the livestock.

Hakkai steered the Jeep down the uneven dirt path that lead them to the house, between long winding fences, before coming to a stop before the large front porch. Xiaozhi rode GangLi to a stop beside them. Gojyo and Goku immediately jumped out of the back and stretched.

"I never thought we'd make it! I'm so hungry!" Goku complained as he stretched his arms over his head.

"You're always hungry!" Gojyo teased.

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

Hakkai had gotten out as well, going around to the back of the jeep to start pulling out their extra supplies. "I believe we have enough for me to cook us something good to eat." Goku whooped in response. "It was kind of that woman to let us rent her family's old homestead until this storm passes."

"With a barn too," Xiaozhi dismounted, flipping the reins over GangLi's head so she could hold them. She addressed the animal: "You're going to be sleeping in luxury tonight."

GangLi let his head drop slightly as she rubbed the flat portion of his forehead. The animals eyes closed, satisfied.

Sanzo got out of the jeep without a word and went straight into the house, letting the screen door slam behind him. Xiaozhi watched him go curiously.

"Pissy monk," Gojyo fumed.

Xiaozhi turned to the red head, "Did you two fight again without me noticing?"

"I haven't said a damn thing to ol' Droopy Eyes!" Gojyo hollered then turned away, ashamed that he'd raised his voice at her.

Hakkai sighed, drawing her attention. "I wouldn't worry about it. Sanzo gets this way whenever there's rain coming. Usually lasts throughout whatever storm we happen to be in."

"Yeah," Goku agreed, not quite as peppy as he had been before. "He's back to normal when the sun's out."

Xiaozhi turned back to where the monk had gone. _He hates the rain that much_?

"Here, let me help you with GangLi," Gojyo offered, stepping over to her. "Don't want ya stuck out in that barn alone if it starts raining."

"Oh… thank you."

"Or we could just get stuck out there on purpose," Gojyo winked.

Xiaozhi punched his arm lightly, "I told you to stop that!"

Gojyo laughed. "Only teasing, swear!"

xxx

Light sprinkles were coming down by the Xiaozhi and Gojyo finished in the barn. They sprinted through the back door, only to be assaulted by warmth and delicious smells. Hakkai had lit the wood stove in the middle of the house, radiating waves of heat throughout the large open rooms. Hakkai was in the kitchen, cooking them a feast with some of their remaining supplies (not all, as they would have to feed Goku again tomorrow). Goku was in the kitchen with him, urging the man to hurry as he bounced from one foot to the other.

Once the table was set, they situated themselves at the loaded down table. While the three boys tucked into their dinner, Xiaozhi's eyes darted to the empty seat that their leader should have been in.

"Is Sanzo eating with us?" She asked.

Gojyo and Goku paused, chopsticks in the air.

Hakkai smiled sadly. "Unfortunately Sanzo doesn't eat much on days like these."

"Why?"

"Doesn't tell us," Gojyo said bitterly, taking a bite and chewing furiously. "And we don't ask. Not like he'd tell us if we did. Pompous prick! Just sits in his damn room smoking and sulking all damn day."

Goku said sadly, "We've tried to take him food and stuff but he just tells us to go away."

Xiaozhi looked down at the food in front of her. She'd been traveling with the four of them for a long time already. She'd grown to know them, to like them, even befriend them. Hakkai was hard to understand at times, but he was kindly to her and spoke softly and with purpose. Goku was impulsive, fun, but thought more of his stomach than what came out of his mouth. Gojyo was somewhat impulsive too, a tad raunchy but he was a great guy and was, overall, a pleasure to be around.

But Sanzo she still didn't know much about. What she did know didn't leave a very pleasant taste in her mouth. They got along fine but he gave off an air of cold indifference. He didn't speak often, didn't involve himself in conversations she held with the other boys. The times that the two of them had talked occurred with no problems and were almost friendly. It was like there was a wall around him that he was refusing anyone into, especially her.

She stood up suddenly, startling the other three. "Is there a tray in the kitchen?"

They blinked.

Gojyo responded first, gesturing with his utensil. "Even if you take him food, he won't eat it. He'll just glare at you and tell you to get the hell out."

"Let him try!" Xiaozhi huffed and tossed her head, sending locks of her long ponytail over her shoulder. "You didn't answer me."

"Uh… yes; in the pantry," Hakkai answered, unsure.

Xiaozhi all but stormed into the kitchen, throwing open the pantry door to retrieve the tray. She grabbed an extra plate from the cabinet and brought them both back to the table, where she proceeded to fill the new plate with food. She loaded the tray with both plates and left the table with it. The three men sat speechless; Goku with a spring roll hanging out of his mouth.

xxx

Xiaozhi stood in the hallway, facing the door that was assumed to be Sanzo's. It was the only closed door. The other doors stood open, allowing for heat to radiate inside.

_Well, I'm here; I can't quite turn back now._ Xiaozhi thought, chewing gently at her bottom lip. _If I did, Gojyo would call me chicken_. _Can't have that, can I?_

She took in a deep breath. Balancing the tray in one arm, she knocked. No answer. She waited the span of five heartbeats and knocked again. Still no sound came from the other side. She huffed, irritated.

"Sanzo? It's me." She spoke to the closed door than paused; still no answer. "I'm coming in, I hope you're decent."

She turned the handle and opened the door slowly. She poked her head inside first. It was a large room, possibly one of the largest in the house considering the building's overall smallness. There was a couch by the window, a small table in the center with two chairs, a bed against one wall, and a door in the opposite wall to a bathroom. There was a lantern on the table, but it was unlit. The only light in the room came from the window, casting a gloomy glow over everything.

Sanzo was on the couch, taking up almost the whole thing, one leg stretched out across the cushions, the other bent. He was leaning back against the arm rest as he stared out the window. A cigarette was planted between his lips; curls of smoke rising to disappear into the gloom. He wasn't wearing his robes; in his jeans, black sleeveless shirt, faux sleeves, and feet bare. His robes were tossed haphazardly across the bed. The only care taken was to secure his sutra and gun, which sat on the bedside table.

It was such a somber scene. He looked almost sad sitting there. Xiaozhi heaved a sigh and went over to the table to set the tray down.

"You can probably hear them out there." Xiaozhi said, referring to Goku and Gojyo as she unloaded the plates from the tray. "I haven't really gotten used to meal times with those two yet. They're a bit too loud for me. I can understand why you'd come in here to escape it."

She looked up at him when she finished. He hadn't moved.

She continued when he didn't answer. "I hope you don't mind. I thought I'd come in here and eat with you. They told me that you don't really eat on rainy days, but I brought you something anyway."

There was still no answer. Xiaozhi sighed and walked over. There was a spot at his feet that was just big enough for her to sit in, so she gingerly placed herself there. His eyes hadn't moved from the window and there was no indication on his face that he had heard anything or even noticed that she had sat down. Xiaozhi looked out the window as well. The rain was coming down harder now, falling in thick sheets.

"Rain is sort of sad, isn't it?" She said absentmindedly.

"That's an understatement."

His response made her jump and look over at him. He was still in the same position as before, still staring out the window.

Xiaozhi smiled a little. "That's a relief. For a minute, I was worried you weren't in there anymore."

Sanzo looked over at her, barely moving his head to do so. There was that smile again. Lately her smile had been making his heart beat a little faster, like it was doing now, despite his poor mood.

"Don't be an idiot."

She laughed and jerked her head in the direction of the door. "At least I'm not as bad as them, right?"

There was a long pause as Sanzo stared at her. Xiaozhi grew uncomfortable under his gaze, adjusting her seating to draw her legs up to her chest, her toes dangling off the edge of the hard couch cushion.

"No, you're not." Sanzo said simply.

She continued to smile, resting her head on her knees. "I have to admit, rain affects me some too; makes me a bit retrospective."

"Meaning?" He raised an eyebrow.

She sighed, her smile faltering. "Seems like bad things always happen on days like these; when it seems like the rain will never stop and the sun won't ever come out again."

Sanzo watched her carefully. "I take it you're speaking from personal experience."

Xiaozhi didn't respond right away. She chewed her bottom lip gently. "It was raining when I'd found out my Father had died."

Sanzo averted his eyes, uncomfortable. "…You cared about your Father a lot."

"Doesn't every child?"

"I wouldn't know."

"… sorry… I didn't know."

Sanzo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Don't apologize, it's annoying. I had my Master. I didn't need anyone else."

Her smile came back, small, but there. "He must have been like a Father to you."

"In a way," Sanzo said, thoughtfully. "I learned from him; the basics of priesthood and the like. I suppose he was as much my Father as he was my teacher. He… I lost him when I was still a child." He caught himself before his mouth could get carried away.

"I see. If I insulted you before, by what I said about Muichimotsu, I'm sorry. I just… I can't see myself being able to follow such a teaching. If I was able to meet my Father again, I wouldn't be able to kill him."

"And Buddha?"

She giggled. "True, he's been unjust to many, look at you and me and how early we lost those who were dear to us. He allows for so much pain to exist. But to destroy something so many worship and build their lives around…" her sentence trailed away but she didn't have to finish it.

Sanzo inhaled on his cigarette and exhaled again. "You've lived with more than most, so you can't ever see not having such things."

This time she laughed. "Probably makes me selfish."

"I wouldn't say selfish. More like spoiled." He was blunt.

She laughed more. Sanzo watched her, satisfied that he'd lightened the mood between them. A girl like her should never have to be sad. He felt the corners of his lips turn upward against his will.

"How is it that you can smile so much?" The question left him just as quickly as it entered his mind.

Xiaozhi's answer came right away, "Because if my Father was watching me, I wouldn't want to worry him by seeing me continuously mourning his death."

Sanzo's smile fell. "What?"

"I'm not going to repeat myself." She stuck her tongue out at him. He reared back a little, eyes widening at the cute gesture. "Don't you think the same why? Wouldn't your Master be disappointed to see you moping about on days similar to the one he died on?"

Sanzo paused. "I didn't tell you that…"

"You made it obvious." Xiaozhi waved a dismissive hand, throwing her head back. "You changed your sentence so fast before, it was kinda obvious that you didn't feel comfortable telling me about it."

_This girl is something else_. Sanzo thought, watching her movements as she stood and stretched, arms crossing behind her head.

There was a heavy thud in his chest and he had to turn away until it subsided. It had been getting worse; the warmth, the quickening of his heartbeat, the wanderings of his mind. It was becoming difficult to control himself when she was around. If he hadn't caught himself he might have spoken his entire past to her. What would she think of him if she learned of what he'd done? All the blood on his hands, all the scars he held secret. Why did he even care?

Sanzo's watched her again from the corner of his eye. Xiaozhi went over to the table. She leaned over it and lifted the hood off the lantern, inspecting the contents. There was a single candle inside, burned most of the way down.

She looked back at him, meeting his gaze. "Do you mind?"

He didn't answer. She smiled again and he felt the pounding in his chest return.

On the table next to the lantern Sanzo had placed his spare lighter and a couple unopened packs of cigarettes. Xiaozhi picked up the lighter, turning it over in her hand. She seemed to inspect it, handling it carefully.

One of Sanzo's brows shot up. "You _do_ know how to use it?" He couldn't help the amusement that crept into his voice.

Xiaozhi glared at him, pouting softly. "Of course I do! Don't be thick!"

An equally amused smirk turned the corners of Sanzo's mouth up. He watched her fumble with his lighter until she finally managed to ignite it. She smiled triumphantly down at it before holding it inside the lantern to light the wick of the candle within.

She replaced the hood and the room illuminated in a soft glow. The space felt much warmer. But, Sanzo found himself musing, the light seemed dimmer compared to her. His earlier remark about the lighter must have goaded her into a blush. Her face was flushed a bright pink.

Xiaozhi moved to the chair her plate was situated in front of. "Well, um, I don't know about you but I do plan to eat. You can sit with me if you want. Or not!" Her blush darkened. "If you're not hungry…"

Her sentence trailed off awkwardly. She sat down, keeping her eyes anywhere but him and began picking at her food, embarrassed.

Sanzo was reminded of her youth and naïveté. Any other woman in her situation wouldn't have fumbled. Any other woman would have sauntered, flounced, shown off to him to gain his favor. Xiaozhi never did any of these and probably never would. She didn't seem like that type of girl. No, that type of woman.

He found himself standing. He walked to the table. He sat across from her and she was smiling again.

It felt oddly natural. They talked about everything and nothing; about their travels and the mundaneness of temple life. She never pressed about his past and he did the same. Talking was something he'd never been able to do with the others, not in such depth anyway.

With her, it seemed to come naturally.


	7. Ch 7 - Sun

Chapter 7: Sun

Sanzo awoke very late the next morning. The sun streamed through his window, shining into his face, making him open his eyes groggily. He couldn't recall how late he'd been up the night before with Xiaozhi. She'd kept him enthralled for hours with stories about her temple far up North and the people she'd met on her travels.

One story of the old man who'd sold her GangLi, stuck with him as he'd laid down to sleep. As he remembered her describing, he'd been a very tan man with a large crook in his back. The man had claimed that he'd ridden racing horses since he was young, winning many medals. During the last race he'd ever competed in, one of his competitors had cut him off suddenly, causing his horse to lose balance and tumble. He'd been grievously injured and was never able to ride again. He owed his survival to his horse, which stayed by his side and kept him conscious. He'd breed that horse until GangLi was born; who he claimed was the most exceptional of all the horses he'd ever bred.

Sanzo had asked her how she was able to convince the old man to sell GangLi to her, to which she winked and said, "I've got my ways. Can't go telling you all my secrets, can I? Where's the fun in that?"

Xiaozhi had secrets, he was sure of that. Sanzo laid in his bed and thought, even as the sun attempted to blind him. Her Buddhist spells were unlike anything he'd ever seen before. And there was something about her story, her past that seemed off to him. She was too clean. Nothing in this world was clean anymore. Everything was tainted and broken, either by the miasma or the hardships of life. He had a hard time believing that she'd gone her whole life untouched.

A commotion from outside caught his attention; loud laughing and yelling. Sanzo looked towards the window curiously. He got up and went over to the couch, leaned over, and threw the window open. A pleasantly warm breeze blew his hair back from his face. Because of last night's rain, he had not been able to see where his room was situated. In the brightness of late morning, he could see for miles.

His room sat at the far end of the house. The window overlooked the pastures, which were evergreen and shimmering from last night's rain. The deep, ankle high, puddles that had formed randomly throughout the fields were serving as watering holes for the livestock.

His traveling companions were out enjoying the sunshine. Hakkai and Gojyo were leaned against the fence, looking out over the fields. They were fairly quiet in their talking, but the two in the field were not. Goku and Xiaozhi were romping about through the pasture, jumping into puddles, laughing and yelling. GangLi was with them, trotting along behind or beside, tossing his head up and down. The large stallion must not have enjoyed being cooped up in a barn all night and enjoyed being back out in the open air.

At the sound of the window opening Hakkai and Gojyo turned around.

"Sanzo, good morning!" Hakkai called to him.

"It's about time." Gojyo rolled his eyes. "Thought we'd have to go in there and drag you out."

"If you had, I would have shot you," Sanzo glared at the red head.

Gojyo threw his hands up, "Exactly why we didn't! At least it's not our fault for getting on the road late this time. Well, it'll be theirs maybe," he thrust a thumb in the direction of the two playing in the pasture.

"Hm…" Hakkai scratched his head. "Those two are going to need showers before we get going today.

"Well, Goku's all yours!" Gojyo said with some disgust, then said: "But I wouldn't mind helping the lady get all nice and…"

Sanzo was about to reach for his weapon to fire on the red head, forgetting that it was across the room. But he was beaten to it. A ball of mud slammed into the side of Gojyo's head, making him jerk sideways. The fuming half breed, now dripping with mud, turned to Goku and Xiaozhi. The black haired girl was standing at the edge of a particularly large puddle, looking horrified. Goku was nearly knee deep in said puddle, hands covered in mud, and looking satisfied with himself. Gojyo let out an angry howl and jumped the fence to run at his offender, who ran away laughing. Xiaozhi watched them go with a heavy sigh and shake of the head.

Hakkai laughed, "How lively!"

Sanzo snorted and pulled himself up to sit in the window. He grabbed the pack of cigarettes and lighter he had left on the couch the previous night and lit one up. Hakkai walked over, careful to avoid mud traps, and leaned against the siding next to the open window.

"So… what do you think?" Hakkai asked.

"About what?"

"Xiaozhi's been traveling with us for a little while now. I was just wondering what you thought of her."

Sanzo paused. "She doesn't annoy me, unlike some people."

The other man laughed. "I think that's obvious. She didn't come back to the table last night when she went to take you food. Gojyo actually bet me money that you'd toss her out; though he used more colorful language."

"Oh really?" Sanzo sounded smug.

"Needless to say, he lost the bet. You two were still quite engaged in conversation when the rest of us retired to bed last night."

"Is that right?"

Hakkai nodded. "Care to share your thoughts?"

Another pause as Sanzo looked over his cigarette at the young woman. GangLi had approached his master and she stood there stroking and hugging his neck.

He exhaled a cloud of arid smoke. "She's too pure."

"Pure…" Hakkai said thoughtfully. "That's one thing she is that we're not, and a very good description of her."

"No one is _that_ pure."

Hakkai looked over at the blond, brow raised. "You think she's hiding something?"

Sanzo's lack of answer was enough for Hakkai.

Hakkai sighed and overlooked the scene. "You have a point. It is hard to believe, but the proof is there right in front of us. Gojyo and I were just talking about it, about her I mean. It's like if any of us were to touch her, anyone by Goku, she would break or disappear because we're too…"

"…tainted."

Hakkai chuckled darkly. "Tainted…"

There was silence between them. Sanzo watched the woman that had joined their group. She looked in his direction, sensing that she was being watched. The smile that spread over her face was stunning. She reached up a hand and waved to him.

Sanzo felt his pulse quicken suddenly. Her eyes had sought him out? Was she really smiling that big and that beautifully for him?

He saw Hakkai wave to her out of the corner of his eye, but she was still waving. Sanzo put a hand up gingerly, fingers slightly splayed. It must have been enough to satisfy her, as she put her hand down and returned her attention to her stallion.

Hakkai looked over at the blond and caught him slowly putting down his hand. He smiled and said: "The morning wouldn't be as beautiful without the sun, isn't that right Sanzo?"

Sanzo couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Hakkai's words stuck themselves in his mind.

"The sun…"

That morning, it seemed to Sanzo that the radiance of the sun was reflected in Xiaozhi's single golden eye.


	8. Ch 8 - Reading Together

Chapter 8: Reading Together

"We're going out shopping," Hakkai said from the doorway.

They were staying in a smaller hotel tonight. The boys were situated in a room with four small beds and a single table. There had only been a single, one bed room left which was given to Xiaozhi at Hakkai's suggestion. Sanzo was seated at the table, paper open across his crossed legs, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. It was a lazier day for the group, so his robes were packed away. He said nothing in response to Hakkai's announcement. He welcomed the few hours of silence it would bring. He could already hear an argument starting between the other two outside.

Hakkai heard footsteps coming towards him and turned. Xiaozhi was heading in his direction, looking as lovely as always. Her hair was back in a tight braid that swung methodically as she walked.

"Ah! Xiaozhi," Hakkai smiled. "Would you care to go shopping with us today?"

She didn't answer right away. She stopped next to him and peeked inside the large room. She looked at Sanzo then back at Hakkai with a raised eyebrow. Hakkai only shrugged in response, shaking his head.

"No, I think I'll stay here today." She said and heard the paper in Sanzo's hands rustle slightly.

Hakkai only smiled and turned back to their leader. "Was there anything you needed, Sanzo?"

A single word: "Smokes."

"Right, always," There was laughter in Hakkai's voice. "Xiaozhi?"

She only shook her head. The raven haired man gave his goodbyes and left. The knowing smile he gave her as he turned away made her uncomfortable. He seemed to be giving her those smiles more often lately, ever since she'd gone to Sanzo's room that one night and hadn't come out till late. Xiaozhi waited until he'd rounded the corner before turning back to watch Sanzo for another moment.

He was such an odd man; quick to anger yet at peace during times like these, when there were no demons to kill or miles to travel. He purposefully kept his distance from everyone and rarely let any of them touch him. She'd learned a lot of him during the conversation they'd had all that time ago. He was socially awkward. His attempts at lighthearted conversation and consolation were, at best, heavy handed. She would make and action or say something that could be misconstrued as flirtatious and he would look away as if embarrassed.

He was secretive. He didn't like delving into his past. So she tried not to push him on the subjects that were obviously uncomfortable. She'd learned so much of that part already. He was dedicated; not to being a Sanzo Priest exactly but to his Master and what he'd been taught.

She wanted to learn more, to have the chance make him more comfortable around her. But there was no chance he would speak to her that way with the other's around. They hadn't had a chance to be alone since that first time.

Till now…

Xiaozhi checked down the hallway again. Hakkai was gone and she couldn't hear Goku and Gojyo's arguing. She turned and walked back towards her room.

xxx

A short while later, the clunk of objects being set on the tabletop made Sanzo look up from his paper. Xiaozhi had placed a stoneware cup next to him and one at the place across from him. He watched her carefully tip a pot of the same styling so that deep amber liquid came out of the spout and filled each cup. When finished, she returned his gaze and smiled.

"Thought you could use some company," She said, brandishing a book that she had had tucked under one of her arms.

Before he could respond, she plopped down in the chair across from him. She opened the book on the table, keeping it open with one hand and resting her head in the other. She read quietly. Sanzo attempted to go back to reading as well.

It was difficult to do with her sitting in such close proximity. He caught himself watching her out of the corner of his eye many times during those few hours. Every once in a while she would, instead of propping up her head, bring her long pony tail over her shoulder and twirl the end around one dainty finger. When she felt him watching her, she would look up, their eyes would lock, and she would smile.

Sanzo was first to look away. He always was; put off by the throbbing in his chest that would _always_ start whenever their eyes met. But he never told her to leave, just like the first time they sat together. He couldn't tell her to leave. He didn't mind her being there.

As he was learning, he _liked_ her being there. She was pleasant, and beautiful, and… Buddha, what was he thinking?

The other's returned a while later to this peculiar scene. Gojyo teased the blond, leaning on the back of the man's chair. Goku crouched next to Xiaozhi's and asked if the book she was reading happened to be a cookbook. And Hakkai stayed near the doorway, giving them both that knowing smile.

To this, Xiaozhi blushed. Sanzo just ignored him, or tried to.


	9. Ch 9 - Plans

Chapter 9 – Plans

Xiaozhi was helping Hakkai with shopping one afternoon. It was another sunny day out, but there was a biting chill in the air. It seemed that the farther into India they traveled the lower the temperature dipped. The change in temperature was not kind to the group. Sanzo, Gojyo, and Goku had all come down vicious colds. Xiaozhi had been tempted to stay and care for them, which Gojyo urged for.

"They'll be alright on their own for a little while." Hakkai had said to this. "Besides, I really could use the help."

So she agreed, to red head's dismay.

As they went from shop to shop, Xiaozhi found her mind wandering back to the blond, who was hopefully still in bed and not up smoking, as he tended to do. The image of his face lightly flushed with fever constantly flitted through her mind. He was such an attractive man. They'd been having their private talks almost regularly now and she'd seen so many sides of him already. This was just another one she would have to mentally file away under a new header: Cute. He looked cute with his face flushed with fever, but still trying to glare at anyone who tested his patience. The thought made her giggle.

Hakkai looked over at her, "Did you think of something funny?"

"Ah!" Xiaozhi flushed and adjusted the grocery bag in her arms awkwardly. "No… not really…"

He laughed. "It's alright. We're a group of oddities, I know. I wouldn't blame you if you found something about us entertaining."

"Oh! It wasn't that. I promise! I don't find you guys odd at all. Okay, well, Goku's kinda weird but everyone thinks that."

He laughed harder.

Xiaozhi smiled, "I did have kind of a question though."

"Go ahead."

"You told me a while back that you've been on this journey for about three years. That's a long time to be on the road."

"You've been traveling about as long."

"Well yes, but that's not what I'm trying to get at. You must have had a lot of time to think about certain things, like what you're going to do when it's time to head home."

Hakkai paused, coming to a sudden stop. She stopped as well, looking at him curiously. His next smile was uncomfortable.

"I don't really know about the others. I wonder if I'm the only one who's really thought about such things."

"How come?" Xiaozhi's head cocked to the side slightly.

"Well," He continued walking and she walked beside him. "Goku isn't really… I can't really see him thinking much past dinner."

She laughed.

"Gojyo would rather not think about it. He'd rather live day to day then plan anything."

"Sounds like him!"

"And Sanzo… well, I don't really know what goes on in his head during the best of days. He's not the type to talk about those kinds of things. But, if I had to guess, he's not going to plan for the future… in the literal sense; in case he doesn't have the option to return. It just fits more with who he is."

Xiaozhi's smile faltered. She thought back to all their private conversations, chewing her bottom lip as she did. In each one he'd always avoided talking about his past and the future. She wondered how he really felt having a future that was so uncertain. If he was given the option for a future, one where he could live and do where he wanted, what would he do?

Hakkai watched her and smiled gently. "Don't worry. He's very… spontaneous, you could say. Whenever we're in a pinch, it's usually his last minute plans that get us out of trouble."

She returned the smile, if only slightly. "What are your plans then?"

"Oh, nothing special; get married, have a bunch of children, die old and happy."

"Sounds fairly special to me!" She laughed. "Do you have a girlfriend waiting back home then?"

Hakkai shook his head. "No. But, if I live I'll be sure to find one… if."

She caught his uncertainty. "You're not confident you'll live anymore…" a blunt statement, not a question.

He looked over at her and smiled sadly. "It's hard to be."

She looked away, chewing at her bottom lip thoughtfully.

"Did you have any plans for when you returned home?" Hakkai asked her.

"They wouldn't take me even if I came back. Not that I would want to go back." Xiaozhi said automatically, making Hakkai blink. "Right now I'm heading West with you guys and that's good enough for me. I've been given my path and that's all I need."

"Given your path?"

Xiaozhi looked down at the bag in her arms. "I wanna make everything better. I don't know how I'm going to accomplish that, but it's what I want to do."

"So what happened to your Father doesn't happen to anyone else."

She smiled up at him. "You could say that. Or you could say that I think it's important to have a goal, no matter what it is; something to work towards, even if it means going through hell and back. You wanna get married and have a whole bunch of kids? Then you should have that. No one but you is saying that it's impossible."

"I didn't say it was…"

"You were thinking of giving up." Xiaozhi accused. "Besides, I think you'd make a great Dad."

Her smile made him smile. In the end, she was right. They may be on this journey to save the world, but that didn't mean they had to resign themselves to not having a future. He was allowed to have his dream, right?

Even if it was silly.


	10. Ch 10 - Sin

Chapter 10: Sin

She had fallen asleep.

Hakkai had taken Goku downstairs to feed the annoying monkey, so they would be gone for hours. Gojyo was off somewhere, probably chasing some tart, so he may be gone all night. It was another opportunity for Sanzo and Xiaozhi to sit together; either talking or reading. Tonight they had been reading.

The large room the four boys were staying in tonight came equipped with a couch as well as a table. Upon entering the room, Xiaozhi had gravitated towards the couch and proceeded to lounge. Sanzo remained at the table and watched her stretch across the cushions; her head leaning back against the low arm rest. She reminded him of a cat; languid movements, satisfied smile. Something about her form relaxed back in such a way made a hard lump form in his throat. He tried hard to swallow it.

He forced his eyes back to the newspaper in his lap. Every day was getting harder and harder. More difficult to control his racing heart, the unwanted thoughts that invaded his mind.

They hadn't been that way for even an hour when the thump of her book hitting the floor made his eyes move back to her. Her duel eyes were closed, mouth open only slightly as she breathed, head tilted to the side facing Sanzo. Her book was open face down on the floor beside the couch, one of her arms dangling off the side of the furniture; having caused the book to fall with it. She had slid down off the arm rest. The entire length of her body rested against the cushions.

How long ago had she been asleep? Was she really so comfortable around him that she would do such a thing? Did she really trust him that much?

A heavy breath escaped through Sanzo's nose; neither annoyed nor angry. He stood, closing the paper and setting it on the table. He walked over to one of the beds and stripped the sheet from it. Gojyo wouldn't need it anyway and if he did return tonight than he could suck it up. He went to where she slept and spread the sheet over her.

Sanzo's thought's escaped him once again as he stood there and watched her sleep. His mind went back to the conversation he'd held with Hakkai a while back. She looked innocent and pure laying there. Sanzo couldn't force any ill feelings towards her; any annoyance or contempt and definitely not anger. No, he liked the girl. The talks they had were strangely comforting and he slept peacefully on those nights, her voice like a lullaby resounding through his mind.

But it was worse than that. He dreamed of her now; her smile, her voice, her ferocity in battle, faces he wasn't even sure she could make. He woke up most mornings now in sweats, but not unpleasantly. Heat was always pooled in his core when he awoke and he hurried to be first into the shower; a very, very cold shower. It was like he'd been put under a spell. No, not a spell, a curse! These feelings had gone far past any general attraction. He feared he was _lusting_ after the girl.

He groaned and sat on the floor, weighed down by his realization, his thoughts, his emotions. He leaned forward, face resting in one hand, the elbow of that arm sitting on one knee. He could feel the heat again, along with the quick, heavy pounding of his heartbeat.

_This woman is going to be the death of me…_

His eyes darted to her hand, which was still dangling off the side of the couch within reach. It looked so small and so delicate. It was almost like the hand of a child; small, soft, and breakable. He reached out his free hand…

…_Fuck it…_

…and took it, holding it as lightly as he could. A quiet, content sigh escaped her. Her fingers gripped his hand as she slept, a smile playing across her lips. He felt his heart leap.

_I'll die for this._

He brought her hand to his face and pressed the back of it to his cheek. She was warm. The skin of her hand was soft compared to his. The calluses on her palm, from the grip of her gun, were still relatively young and smooth; where his were the opposite. She must not have been using her weapons for very long, perhaps a year or two. He could feel her pulse thudding rhythmically against his fingers. The gently beat of life within her was intoxicating his mind.

He'd long since bypassed dangerous territory. These feelings, these thoughts, were so new and so terrifying. He couldn't tell Xiaozhi of these feelings. He couldn't allow himself to taint her. She was a beautiful, virtuous woman.

He was a sinner… at his very core.

He had to distance himself, to keep himself from this temptation. At least that's what he believed.

When Hakkai finally returned with Goku in tow, Sanzo was back in his chair, back to reading the paper. There was nothing to hint to Sanzo's revelation or what had occurred only a short time ago. However, Xiaozhi's hand now rested comfortably against her abdomen.

Hakkai looked from one to the other, questioning, but not asking.


	11. Ch 11 - Anything but Hate

Chapter 11: Anything but Hate

Sanzo had been distant for the past few weeks. He was avoiding spending time alone with Xiaozhi. He rarely spoke to her. His eyes avoided meeting hers. Whenever she would look over at him, either from across a table or atop GangLi, he would quickly turn away.

The female priest was getting annoyed.

She wanted to be close to him, to know him, even befriend him. Her attempts had been going well. At least that's what she thought. Each conversation had been growing longer and longer in length. The quiet moments where they sat and read or talked together were comfortable. She'd even fallen asleep in the same room with him the last time.

That was when it had started. Hakkai had woke her the following morning, smiling. The boys were packing up their things to leave and the raven haired man was offering to assist her with her packing. He had waited until the last minute to wake her, as Sanzo ended up being in a terrible hurry to leave that morning. She had gone over to Sanzo and greeted him as usual, kindly, smiling. He had kept his back to her and only grunted in response, where before he would have looked at her and greeted her as well.

The night before, they had been on friendly terms. What happened?

Xiaozhi didn't think she could take the silence any longer. By how the other three boys were acting, neither could they. Sanzo's rudeness irritated the Gojyo and never failed to put the red head in a sour mood, almost violent. Goku, as awful as his attempts were, kept trying to start up conversations between the two; which would end badly. Hakkai would smile at her sadly and apologize for the blond. Xiaozhi didn't wanna hear it; she just wanted to know why.

Nights passed during those weeks with camping, inns, and wherever else they could find shelter. Tonight they were camping again. They had stopped and set up camp just as the sun was setting. Xiaozhi set up her little tent in such a way that it was open to the warmth of the fire. The days had been getting colder and colder, but nights were worse. She un-tacked GangLi enough so he could graze comfortably. The stallion stayed close to her, head down as he munched on the grass near her tent. The change in mood had affected the animal as well. He sensed Xiaozhi's worry and always stayed nearby for any comfort she may need.

Even after having camped with them many times already, Xiaozhi was still able to watch the four boys with interest as they carried out their tasks. They always started these jobs like clockwork as soon as the campsite was chosen; practiced after so many years of traveling. While Goku fetched fire wood and water, Gojyo and Hakkai put up tents. When those tasks were complete, Hakkai would cook dinner. All the while, Sanzo sat leaned against a tree at the edge of the camp, smoking. Gojyo would make a comment about the monk's laziness; to which, said monk would only grunt.

Xiaozhi watched the blond man off and on throughout the night. He sat against the tree the whole time, staring into the fire and smoking. She wondered what he was thinking. Was he worrying about when they got to their destination? Was he thinking about the kinds of things she had talked to Hakkai about, future plans? Was he thinking about her?

Xiaozhi felt her heart leap into her throat. _No! He hasn't said a word to me in weeks. Why would he think about me?_

She settled into her tent after dinner, listening to Goku and Gojyo bicker their way to sleep. She kept the flaps of her tent open so the warmth of the fire could drift inside. It wasn't long before Goku's snores started, drowning out almost all other sound. Hakkai was next to go, putting one more log on the fire first. He asked Sanzo if he was going to bed as well, to which he received no answer. With a heavy sigh, Hakkai settled into his tent.

She didn't know how much time passed. She laid in her tent, unable to fall asleep, listening to the crackle of the fire just barely audible through Goku's snores. There were worn spots in the lining of her tent that she hadn't noticed before. She had to remember to patch them before they had to camp out again.

Xiaozhi's mind wandered for a while longer until she heard movement out in the camp. She looked up in time to see Sanzo retreat into the trees. His steps were hurried, as if wanting to escape without being caught.

She rolled over onto her front, propping herself up on her arms. "Sanzo?"

Xiaozhi had a moment of hesitation before she crawled out of her bedding, quietly as she could. As she stood, a loud snort from behind made her jump. She turned to find GangLi moving to stand next to her. He was surprisingly stealthy for such a large animal.

She laughed nervously and whispered: "You sure know how to keep me on my toes, don't you?"

The stallion shook his head around, mane thrashing about. Xiaozhi smiled at her companion and reached out to scratch his forehead. He leaned into the touch.

"I'll be right back," she whispered. "I have to talk to him."

A large breath of air escaped from GangLi's nose, as if he was irritated. Xiaozhi just smiled at the animal. She gave his forehead one more scratch before turning away and following the path Sanzo had taken. GangLi took a step towards her as she disappeared into the trees, but he stopped and grunted, kicking at the earth. Hakkai watched her go from a crack in the flaps of his tent. Once she was gone he chuckled to himself and shook his head.

xxx

She was starting to worry that she'd lost him. It was too dark to see footprints and there was no trace of cigarette butts around. She stopped, leaning against a tree, feeling defeated. She'd gone quite a ways from camp. If she went any farther, she may never find her way back. Xiaozhi was about to turn back when she heard it.

BANG!

The familiar sound of a gunshot scared her. It was close by. Perhaps just through the next gathering of trees. There was another moment of hesitation before she hurried to them, worry and fear twisting her stomach into knots. She came to a stop at the tree line and peeked around.

There was another clearing beyond, bathed in bright moonlight. Sanzo was standing only a few feet away, his back to her. His gun arm was raised. On the other side of the clearing, a branch from a tree had been violently separated from the trunk. The branch lay on the ground, broken and pathetic. He had not noticed her approach.

Xiaozhi released the breath she had been holding, relieved. Her mind had immediately gone to the worse possible situation. Though, thinking back on her panic, she berated herself. The blond really wasn't the type of man to stoop to such a demeaning end.

"Shit!" He hissed.

Xiaozhi blinked, watching Sanzo store his weapon to pull out his cigarettes and light one. He stored away his lighter and cigarette pack before wrapping his thumb and forefinger around the one in his mouth.

He was upset. But he hadn't seemed upset back at camp. Then again, he hadn't spoken to her in a long time, so what did she know. Was he upset with her? The thought made her chest ache. She wanted to know; to make things better between them again.

She came from around the tree. "Sanzo?" She said tentatively.

He turned. He saw Xiaozhi standing there, hair and clothes mused, breath coming slightly fast, looking ethereal in the moonlight. His heart started to pound. He turned away from her. He didn't want to look at her; he couldn't, not until he was able to get these feelings under control. He didn't trust himself otherwise.

He'd come out there for some privacy, to try and think without Goku's continuously annoying snoring. He thought the quiet would help. But the moonlight only served to remind him of her, of her soft beautiful skin. Sanzo's had shot out in frustration, not that it relieved any of his tension. Now she was here with him, alone.

_Fuck…_

"I…" Xiaozhi hesitated. He had been so quick to turn back around. "We haven't spoken in weeks. Did I… did I do something wrong? Did I upset you? Insult you?"

She got no answer from him. He stood there with his back to her and all she could see was the rising smoke from his cigarette drift off into the darkness. She did, however, think she saw his shoulders tense. She feared the worst. The pain from that fear was overwhelming.

"Do you… hate me?" There was something painfully broken in her voice that made Sanzo turn back to her.

He felt his heart sink. Her fear and pain had manifested on her face as tears, which flowed freely from her beautiful duel colored eyes.

Stunned confusion read on his face, "Xiao…zhi?" Sanzo took a step towards her.

Xiaozhi's hands flew to her cheeks, feeling the wetness there. Her eyes widened, horrified. Her mask was broken. She'd always been cheerful, always smiled, always laughed. She tried to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop. A dam had been broken. He'd told her when they first started traveling together, that he didn't tolerate weakness. If he didn't hate her before, he must surely do now.

She turned to run, to hide her shame. But she didn't get far. Sanzo was faster and was on her before she had taken a full stride. His cigarette fell to the ground. He grabbed her wrist rougher than he had intended. She flinched, but not from the pain. It was from fear; not fears of him exactly, fear of his rejection.

Sanzo pulled her back to face him. She kept her eyes down, ashamed. If ever there was a time she looked weak, it was now. He'd never seen her in such a state; raw, broken, crying. And it was his fault. He'd done this to her. He refused to interact with her for weeks and it hurt her. He'd harmed so many over the years, killed, turned cold shoulders and never cared. But hurting her crushed him. Seeing her beautiful face pained and crying hurt him and he hated it, hated himself for causing it.

Sanzo's grip on her wrist lessened. Why did he always, _always_ find himself so weak around her? What was it about her that made him forget himself? Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps this wasn't lust but something else; something far more complicated.

When Xiaozhi felt the lessening of his grip, she looked up. The horror in her expression had faded to confusion. She was expecting to be berated, insulted, even told to leave them, but that's not what she saw in his face. For a brief moment, she saw her own confusion reflected in his eyes before he looked away.

"Tch," he clicked sharply and brought his free hand up to lay in on top of her head. "I don't… I didn't…"

Sanzo couldn't say it, not with her staring at him with those eyes; still damp and shimmering with tears. Not with the painful throbbing in his chest or the ringing of her voice in his ears, asking that question over and over.

"Shit," he cursed under his breath.

"San…" she was cut off before his name could leave her lips.

He pulled her forward until her forehead rested against his chest. Xiaozhi blinked and attempted to look up and back away, but his hand kept her head still.

"Anything…" He paused, searching for words.

Xiaozhi stopped her struggling when he spoke. She stayed still and listened, heart in her throat. It was a minute or so before he continued.

"I don't... hate you. I only… need time to… consider what it is I'm feeling." He struggled with his words, uncomfortable, but wanting only for her to understand.

Xiaozhi felt her cheeks start to warm. The gentle grip of Sanzo's hand on her wrist was starting to send pleasant tingles up her arm and down to her fingertips. She knew he was holding onto her in case she tried to run away, but she wasn't sure if she wanted him to let her go at all.

"What is it you feel towards me?" Xiaozhi dared to ask, shyly.

There was a long pause, minutes perhaps. Xiaozhi ached to move, to look at his face. But she was scared if she did, he may not finish. Then she would never know. So she stood as still as she could, head resting against the soft material of his robes, waiting.

Eventually he answered: "Anything but hate."

The words were vague, but comforting and so him. They would have to do for now.

Xiaozhi smiled and finally allowed herself some movement, bringing her free hand to his chest to lightly grip the material there. She inhaled his scent, cigarettes and green tea, and found it oddly soothing. It occurred to her suddenly that they were hugging, if it could be called that. She was grateful for her face being hidden. If Sanzo saw her and her bright red blush, he'd be suspicious of the crush she was desperately trying to hide. Instead, she cuddled her face deeper into the folds of his robe, breathing him in. Who knew when this moment between them would end? She planned to savor it.

Sanzo didn't attempt to remove her. Instead he adjusted his hand from the top of her head to her shoulder, no longer holding her in place. But she didn't move. He looked down at the small woman against him and let out a heavy breath through his nostrils. Yes, this was as far from hate as someone could possibly get. What it was eluded him; this emotion that tore at him at the sight of her tears, that was making his heart race with this closeness. He was never like this with anyone, anyone but her. She brought something out in him he couldn't explain, something he didn't know he was capable of.

And he liked it.


	12. Ch 12 - What Goku Wants

***This chapter heavily references the manga. If you haven't read it, I recommend you do. It's easy to find on MangaFox and other manga scanlation sights. Since TokyoPop went under, it's not licensed anymore, so physical copies are a little more difficult to find then before. Please enjoy!***

Chapter 12: What Goku Wants

Xiaozhi watched the small brown haired boy from across the table as he stuffed food into his mouth. It was hard to believe that he was only a year older than her. At least that's what Hakkai had said. He acted so much younger. She'd seen very few moments where he'd been almost serious, but those moments passed about as quickly as Goku's stomach emptied.

She watched him reach across the table towards a plate of spring rolls next to her. Goku stopped suddenly and looked up, cheeks puffed and full.

"Were you done with those?" He asked through the food in his mouth.

Xiaozhi smiled and nodded, handing him the plate. "Go ahead. I was done eating a while ago."

I wide smile spread over Goku's face as he took the food from her. The lack of reaction from their other companions, especially Gojyo, struck the boy as odd and he looked around them.

"Where'd everyone else go?" He asked, plate still held aloft.

"Hm?" Xiaozhi blinked. "Oh, they left a while ago." She flashed him Sanzo's gold credit card. "Sanzo told me to go ahead and take care of your bill."

"Oh…" Goku finally set the plate down.

He didn't consume the food. He stared down at it, as if lost in thought.

Xiaozhi's head tilted to the side slightly, "What's wrong? Didn't you want them?"

"Hey…" Goku looked up at her unsurely. "You like Sanzo a lot, right?"

Color rose in Xiaozhi's cheeks. "What're you talking about?"

"You've been spending a lot of time with Sanzo. Hakkai told me that if you really like someone, you wanna spend a lot of time with them. I just wanted to make sure you really liked him."

"Goku…" She smiled gently. "You…" She tried not to laugh. "You've got someone you like a lot, don't you?"

The boy's face turned red, "N-no! I-I was just…"

It was Xiaozhi who now held a knowing smile, "What's her name?"

Goku looked down at his lap, embarrassed, "Pippi."

"I see. She must be…"

"She's gone…"

Xiaozhi's smile disappeared. She looked at Goku, first confused then with sad understanding. "Oh Goku, I'm so sorry. How did she…?"

"She was a demon. Me, Hakkai, and Gojyo were stayin' in her village while we were separated from Sanzo. Her village was attacked by humans. She went off with everyone that was left in a cart and…" He couldn't finish.

"Goku," Xiaozhi reached out and put a hand on his.

They were silent for quite a while. The noise of the restaurant around them seemed to drown out.

"What'd you want to do, Goku?"

The brunette looked up, surprised. It was rare for anyone to ask him his opinion and if they did, it wasn't taken seriously. Xiaozhi wasn't looking at him like Sanzo or Gojyo did. She was honestly interested in what he was thinking, in what he wanted.

It was more than a little jarring. But it made Goku feel happy, like he had an actual friend. Hakkai was more like a teacher, Gojyo like a really annoying brother, and Sanzo like a foster father. He'd never had a real friend before, not that he could remember anyway.

"Well," he smiled shyly. "I'd like to make sure she's buried right. And those kids from the village, if their still alive I wanna make sure their all okay."

Xiaozhi smiled, "I'm sure she'd appreciate that."

"Yeah!" Goku grinned. "She was an awesome cook! And pretty too! Gojyo didn't think so. But he's just a perverted old cockroach."

Xiaozhi laughed, listening to Goku talk about the time he'd spent in the demon village. There was a lot more to Goku then she'd originally thought.

***Hi everyone! I know this one's really short, but I wanted at least one chapter where Xiaozhi was interacting with Goku. I remembered the Oasis Arc from Saiyuki Reload and thought it would make interesting, if short, conversation between the two. If a little sad Poor Goku! ***


	13. Ch 13 - Falling

***I'm really excited for how well this story is doing ^_^ I never thought it would get this popular! Now school has started up, so writing has slowed down a little bit. I've still got up to 19 chapters back logged, so I can upload those while I don't have time to write. I'll pace them a little farther apart to hold you guys over until I can get back to my usual writing pace. Lots of loves, guys! You all are great!***

Chapter 13: Falling

Things had been better between Sanzo and Xiaozhi since that night. Their routines had slowly worked their way back to normal, albeit awkwardly. Xiaozhi's face and neck seemed to hold a semi-permanent pink flush that faded when Sanzo wasn't around and darkened whenever the blond addressed her directly or was in close vicinity.

It wasn't difficult for two out of the three remaining boys to notice. Gojyo snickered and teased. Hakkai only smiled, which made her more uncomfortable. It would have been better if Hakkai had said what she knew he was thinking, instead of standing there with that knowing smile. But she knew what he would say and she didn't want to hear it.

He would tell her to tell Sanzo; to take the advice she'd given him. Make something to look forward to, for Sanzo to look forward to. Hakkai had no idea how much she wanted to. With them both being Sanzo Priests and Xiaozhi being… those were ingredients that don't mix well. She wanted to tell him that, to tell them all. She had to, needed to, before things got out of hand. In the next village perhaps, when they weren't actively traveling on the side of a cliff.

The five of them had been traveling on said cliff for a couple hours. Below them was a thick forest, impassible by jeep. Above them the cliff face rose for another dozen or so meters; no way to climb up and no road through the woods. The only road was the one they were currently on, having them totter on the side of the cliff for who knows how long. Xiaozhi hadn't minded the different path; GangLi traveled better on flat ground anyway. She rode comfortably a ways in front of them, keeping an eye out for lose or broken patches in the road, as everyone else bounced and jostled about in the jeep.

Tossed was a more apt word that Gojyo had offered. There seemed to be no end to the complaints coming from the back seat, but they were ignored. Hakkai was too busy watching for Xiaozhi's signals; telling him to slow down or increase his speed.

Sanzo didn't so much watch her signals as the woman herself. She was in her element. She looked powerful atop her horse, controlled. He felt honored, in a way, that he was the only one to have seen her weaker side. Thinking about that night made him bring a hand up to hold the cigarette between his lips, hiding a slight smile.

Xiaozhi pulled GangLi to a stop suddenly, hand rising into the air; the sign to stop. Hakkai hit the brakes a little too hard, making them all jerk forward. He received glares and scowls from his companions. He paid them no mind and got out to make his way over to Xiaozhi.

"What…?" It didn't take him long to notice the problem.

A large portion of the cliff had given way. By the looks of it, a landslide had occurred only a few days ago. The road was impassable now. When Hakkai didn't return for a few minutes, the three other men exited the Jeep to look as well.

"Looks like we'll have to turn around," Hakkai said.

"Shit…" There was a click of a lighter beside Xiaozhi and she looked down.

Sanzo was standing on Xiaozhi's other side. He had just lit a cigarette and was looking irritated.

Xiaozhi smiled down at him. "We'll get to another town soon enough. Just be careful not to use up all your smokes before we do."

He glanced up at her. He said nothing and nodded. Their eyes stayed locked a little too long for Xiaozhi. She flushed pink from her neck to her ears and looked away, distracting herself by adjusting her grip on the reins. One of Sanzo's brows shot up. He'd also notice how often that had been happening lately. It peaked his curiosity. He'd have to remember to question her about it when they were able to talk privately again.

"Well!" Hakkai clapped his hands together, drawing their attention as he made to turn around. "I'll go get Hakuryu turned around, shall I?"

"You do that," Gojyo was smoking his own cigarette, "Though you might wanna tell our guests to leave."

The red head thrust a thumb over his shoulder and they all turned to look. A horde of demons blocked the path back down; wielding swords, clubs, and other makeshift weaponry. Hakkai and the others looked at Gojyo questioningly.

He shrugged his shoulders, "What? You didn't hear them coming? You guys really need to pay more attention." He looked at Xiaozhi out of the corner of his eye as he said this and she blushed deeper.

Xiaozhi cleared her throat and dismounted. She pulled the arm blade from the sheath attached to the saddle.

"What are you doing?" Sanzo asked.

"There's not gonna be enough room for him to maneuver. I don't want him to go tumbling over the cliff. Besides," She turned the horse around to face the crowd of demons. "I can do this."

Xiaozhi gave a sharp slap to GangLi's hindquarters. Startled, he galloped forward and into the crowd, knocking over and trampling many. They saw his head emerge from the other side of the horde, safe but irritated.

"Impressive, but will he be safe?"

"We've used this trick before. He's smart and'll get himself out of danger." She drew her handgun from the holster on her hip. "Shall we?"

Sanzo smirked and nodded, drawing his banishing gun.

xxx

It became quickly apparent that Xiaozhi was at a disadvantage on the ground. She had strapped her blade to her left arm to help her defend herself, grasping the grip tight, leather strap digging into the skin below her elbow. Her pistol was in her right hand, a bag of clips tied around her waist. While everyone else defended themselves easily, Xiaozhi found herself overwhelmed.

She wasn't strong like the boys; hand to hand combat wasn't her forte. She spent a good portion of the fight staying as close to Sanzo as she could, but they kept getting separated. And a worse problem was becoming apparent; space. She was being pushed back by the onslaught of demons, closer to the edge of the cliff. She felt rocks give way under the heel of her boots and cursed under her breath. The demons poised in front of her were looking at her hungrily.

Xiaozhi had to get out of this situation fast before she was pushed, or killed, or eaten, or worse. She weighed her options; be stupid and rush forward, or take a gamble on something she hadn't tried.

It was time to gamble.

Sanzo turned to check on her just in time to see her heel tip over the edge of the cliff. For a moment he thought his heart stopped.

_No! _"Xiaozhi!"

Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku turned to see Sanzo barreling through the horde of demons watching her fall. The blond shot some, but left others to tumble to their deaths. He cursed himself for letting the two of them get separated.

"Sanzo!"

"Xiaozhi!"

Sanzo ignored their screaming. It was just white noise.

He jumped. Xiaozhi, who had been talking under her breath, looked up. Her eyes widened with fear. She reached for him, arms wide, gun still in her hand. Their arms wrapped around each other as they fell. Sanzo heard her chanting, words that were foreign to him.

A bright golden glow enveloped them before they disappeared into the trees below.

xxx

*Ba-bum… ba-bum*

Xiaozhi could hear something, like a soft drum beating into her ear.

*Ba-bum… ba-bum*

She was lying on something too. It wasn't soft, but it wasn't incredibly hard either. She cuddled into it farther, feeling an arm wrap around her shoulders as she did. Now that she thought about it, what she was laying on smelled familiarly of cigarettes and green tea.

Xiaozhi opened her eyes and lifted her head, only to find herself in a compromising position. She was lying on top of Genjo Sanzo. His arm was around her shoulders. He was looking at her with a very odd expression, one she never seen him use before. One of Xiaozhi's legs had wedged itself between and underneath one of Sanzo's, hooking them together by the ankle. Her head had been resting on his chest.

_How did we…_ Xiaozhi thought, feeling her cheeks warm. _Oh… right… I fell and he…_

"You okay?" Sanzo's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "I was beginning to think that you were seriously injured."

"That I was…" Xiaozhi said, confused, before she understood. "Wait, didn't I fall first? You turned our positions?"

"If I hadn't you would've been crushed under me."

"So you opted to get crushed under me instead?" Xiaozhi raised an eyebrow. "I don't see the logic in that."

"You seem to think you're more of a fat ass then you really are," He said bluntly, but one corner of his lips was twitching upwards.

"I'm certainly not a feather pillow, am I?" Xiaozhi responded, sticking her tongue out at him. "You're gonna have a bruise or two tomorrow."

"Ah yes, I thought I felt a bony elbow dig into my side," Sanzo said, followed by a sharp exhale of breath as Xiaozhi poked him in the ribs, an unamused expression on her face.

"Shut up," Xiaozhi laid her head back down on his chest, forgetting for a moment the awkward position that they were in.

Sanzo looked down at her. They hadn't been this close since he reconciled with her, and even then they weren't _this_ close. Her head and hands on his chest, fine; that had occurred before, as awkward as that was. But their legs were tangled together as if they'd just…

He swallowed hard, heart pounding. "Xiaozhi…"The name came out as a whisper.

"Sanzo, you remember what you told me that morning we sat in the window sills?-The first time?" Xiaozhi had closed her eyes, pressing her ear against his chest. "That sometimes it felt like you weren't alive? That you felt like you were walking through some stupid dream that never ended?"

"Yeah," it felt like years since that conversation.

"You are alive," Xiaozhi said softly, gripping his robe in her hand. "I can hear it, your heartbeat. It's strong and loud."

Sanzo paused. She looked content laying there. He'd never felt such a strong urge to hold something, someone, before. The intensity in the moment was sending pleasant chills through his body, even while he felt warmth pool inside him. He wanted more, wanted to hold her more.

"Xiaozhi."

She lifted her head to look up at him again. Their eyes met and she found it difficult to breath. There was that look again. It felt like he was looking through her, into her. Xiaozhi turned pink. She couldn't turn away. She didn't want to; not under the scrutiny of those pretty violet eyes.

Sanzo moved his other hand to run his fingers through the hair on the back of her head. It was soft, like satin. The tie she used to keep her hair back was gone. It must have caught on a branch as they fell and come loose. Her long dark hair fanned out over them, covering them like a blanket.

_Is he going to…?_ Uncertainty twisted in Xiaozhi's stomach.

Then Sanzo pulled her face closer.

And she panicked. "Ah!"

Xiaozhi pulled away, jerking herself out of Sanzo's hands. He lay there looking up at her, bows raised, confused. At least he was until he saw her face. She was sat back on his legs, looking down at him. Her eyes were wide with shock and confusion, breath coming unevenly. He'd startled her. Perhaps it had been too sudden.

Sanzo heaved a breath through his nose and sat up, managing to not unseat her. He placed his hand back on her head and pulled her forward until his chin rested against her hair. An apology, the only one he could make. And she understood. Xiaozhi smiled and nodded. To which he smiled, slightly, and only because she couldn't see.

He pulled away and looked down at her. "We should find somewhere else to sit."

"Oh… right," Xiaozhi scooted off of him to sit cross legged in the grass.

She retrieved her gun, which had landed not far away, and stored it, taking another minute to un-strap the blade from her arm. Sanzo stood, retrieving his banishing gun.

"It'll get dark soon," he said as he stored it away. "Who knows how long it'll take those idiots to find us."

Xiaozhi looked up at the sky, catching sight of splashes of reds, oranges, and gold's through the canopy. "If we start a fire and cook something, Goku could smell his way to us."

Sanzo chuckled, "Might not be a bad idea."

Xiaozhi laughed with him, thankful that the mood between them had lightened. Sanzo held his hand out to her. She took it and he helped her to her feet. When her weight pressed down on her left foot, she hissed painfully, falling forward into Sanzo. His arms wrapped around her again.

"Are you alright?" He asked; worry working its way into his voice.

"Not… really…" Xiaozhi looked up at him. "I told you that was a crappy idea. Now my ankle's all screwed up."

"Can't you heal yourself?" A brow shot up.

Xiaozhi glared. "Not really. Then again, I don't usually go around throwing myself into dangerous situations, do it?"

Sanzo bit his lip, avoiding her eyes.

She tilted her head curiously, "Sanzo?"

She was swept up suddenly; one of his arms under her knees and his other cradling her shoulders. He couldn't hide the tint of color on his face from this angle.

"What are you…!?"

"I'll fix your ankle when we find somewhere to rest," he said, starting off before she could object.

She watched him and the light blush on his face as he walked, determinedly keeping his eyes on the path ahead.

Xiaozhi rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes, and smiling, "Thank you."

Sanzo chanced a glance down at her. He was slowly coming to terms with what he was feeling for her, lust, passion, like, whatever it was. Not that the others needed to know about it. Not that he could form the words to tell her.


	14. Ch 14 - Kouryuu

Chapter 14: Kouryuu

Dusk was just beginning to fall when they found a slight depression in the cliff face suitable enough for shelter. Deep enough that rain wouldn't be a problem and shallow enough that smoke from a small, comfortable, fire could vent safely.

Sanzo gathered wood for a fire and used his lighter to light it. He rolled up his sutra and placed it safely by his other belongings; gun, fan, smokes, lighter, etc. That done, shrugged off his robes and laid them out for them to sit on before going to find something to cook; to eat and to lure their companions to their location. Xiaozhi waited by the fire for Sanzo's return, not being able to do much else. She busied herself by unlatching her holsters and clip bag from her belt. She inspected her gun for damage from the fall. Thankfully there was none. She sighed in relief and stored it away again, setting it to the side with her clip bag and blade.

Her mind kept wandering back to the incident that had occurred between Sanzo and her just a short while ago. Each time she would flush red.

_He was gonna kiss me!_ Xiaozhi thought frantically. _I can't believe it!_ _He was really gonna… not that I didn't want him too, but… _

_Come on, Xiaozhi, calm down!_ She berated herself. _This isn't the time or the place. Don't let your silly feelings get the better of you._

Sanzo returned to their little makeshift camp a short while later, holding a dead rabbit by the ears. Xiaozhi was trying to remove her boots, with not much luck. She cringed and hissed in pain with every tug, pull, and push she made at the hard leather. He watched the scene for only a few seconds before rolling his eyes. He set his catch by the fire and went to sit in front of her. He placed a hand on the toe of her boot, drawing her attention. She looked up, his raised brow and questioning gaze making her blush. She pulled her hands away, instead folding them in her lap.

"What did you think you were doing?" Sanzo said, pulling on the boot, testing how tight it was on.

"I was just… AH!" She called out when he pulled her boot off suddenly. There had been pain, but it was so fast that it was more startling than anything else. "… well, you know."

He shook his head. "I told you that I'd look at it."

"I remember," She kept her eyes away from his, looking down at the stone, the fire, anywhere else.

He glanced up at her once before peeling the sock away from her foot. He inspected the ankle with his eyes and fingers, prodding (which made her flinch), feeling for damage. He felt none. At least that he could tell. The joint was swollen, but that was about it.

"Looks like it's not broken or anything."

Xiaozhi sighed, relieved.

Sanzo handed her back her footwear, smirking, "Didn't realize you were so delicate."

"Deli…" She glared at him, snatching her belongings from him. "Who said that?!"

"I believe I just did." He was still smirking. "Can I use that?" He indicated her blade, which had been set aside.

She handed it to him. It was about the size and a short sword and would have to do for cleaning their meal. Sanzo set to the task.

Xiaozhi huffed, pulling her sock back over her injured foot, "I'm not delicate."

He didn't retaliate, didn't feel he had to. The indignant blush around her ears was enough. He cared for her, but that didn't mean he didn't like to tease her. Causing those reactions in her made him feel warm. These secret, intimate, moments with her were the only things he had to look forward to anymore.

Xiaozhi watched him as he skinned and gutted their meal. She felt nauseated at the sight, always did.

"You're good at that," she said offhandedly.

He glanced at her. "You've done this too, I assume; seeing as you've traveled by yourself for so long."

"If you haven't noticed, I usually try to avoid red meat. Wasn't really part of my diet growing up; just fish, rice, and poultry."

"I did notice," Sanzo said, chopping the cleaned meat into sections. "But that doesn't stop you from gorging on hare or beef whenever we have it."

Embarrassed: "I don't gorge. That's Goku."

Amused: "Oh really."

"Yeah, well, you could stand to gorge yourself," she kicked his side lightly with her healthy foot. "I could bench press you."

He paused and raised an eyebrow at her, "No you couldn't."

She flushed, "It was a figure of speech!"

The smile he gave her was smug before he turned back to their meal, skewering pieces of meat on a stick he had sharpened while hunting. She watched him work. She never felt frustrated or angry when he teased her like that. It was the closest to playful he could get. The fact that he was that way with her made her feel so much for him. They've travelled together for so long now and had gotten so close.

_We've gotten too close_. Xiaozhi thought to herself sadly.

Sanzo placed the skewers over the fire and stood, taking the blade with him. "I'll be right back."

"Ah…" She watched him go, the lean muscles of his back rippling as he walked.

Xiaozhi looked away and into the fire. _This is bad; really bad. I have to tell him._

xxx

_No more secrets._ Sanzo thought, cleaning the blood off his hands in a small creek nearby.

xxx

Sanzo returned to find her looking how he felt; uneasy. He stood just out of her line of sight, confused. He hadn't said anything to cause that reaction in her… had he? Sanzo tried to think back on the conversation they'd had before he left. No, it had been par for the course; nothing too out of the ordinary. So what was wrong?

He shook his head, dispelling his uneasiness. It didn't matter. He had his plan and it didn't change anything. He was to go in there and do what he planned to do. What happened after that was up to her.

So Sanzo went up to her and sat down, setting the clean blade off to the side. She didn't look at him. The light from the fire played pleasantly with the contours of her face and her eyes. He was reminded suddenly of the day after they'd met, sitting in that graveyard with her, talking somberly next to a child's grave. This moment felt so similar to that and it didn't sit well with him.

"Sanzo…"

"Kouryuu," He interrupted, he needed to set his plan in motion or else he would never know.

Xiaozhi looked up at him, confused, "Kou… what?"

He sighed, resigning himself to look into the fire. There was no way he'd be able to speak properly if he was looking into her eyes.

"That was my name before I was given my title. The one my Master gave me when he found me."

"Ah…" What he was doing occurred to her. "You don't have to…"

"I do."

She closed her mouth and said no more. If he wanted to tell, then she'd let him.

And he did. He told her about his childhood, his adopted father Koumyou Sanzo, and the circumstances of the man's death. He told her of leaving the temple, the men he killed to survive, and his eventual arrival at the Temple of the Setting Sun. He told her of the strange little monk he'd met there, who had inspired him to live, to finally put on his robes, to take on his role. Sanzo told her of his sins and she listened, quietly, patiently, hanging on his every word.

When it was over, she remained quiet, watching him. Her expression was unreadable. He wished she would speak, not just stare.

"You think less of me." Sanzo stated.

Xiaozhi shook her head. He looked at her, brows furrowed.

She smiled gently. "It's true. I always believed that there was a reason why you refused to talk about it. You always avoided the subject. The fact that you trust me enough to tell me… I'm honored."

Sanzo felt his heart swell. She didn't think less of him. She smiled at him. She accepted him. It felt like something inside him was melting away, breaking apart, coming loose.

She looked down, looking awkward. "Sanzo… look… I should tell you…"

He put a hand on her face, palm resting against the curve of her jaw. He'd had the urge to touch her, to feel her skin against his calloused hand. He'd never allowed himself to give into his urges; always believed such things were signs of weakness. But they were alone. There was no chance of any one finding them till tomorrow. Why shouldn't he indulge himself in her company?

Her voice was hesitant, "San…"

"Kouryuu," he corrected. "I'm only going to give you permission to call me that. And only when we're completely alone."

"Kouryuu," She whispered.

The sound of the name leaving her lips sent a buzz through him. He pulled her forward slightly, like before. She didn't run this time. Instead she went willingly, without being led. Kouryuu went to meet her.

_Forgive me_… Xiaozhi thought vaguely.

Their eyes slid closed as the space between them lessened.

They kissed; their first.

It was merely a quick, soft, press of lips. Barely a breath of time passed between the prayer like joining and separating. Short, but no less sweet. Their eyes opened and they looked at each other in wonderment at what had just passed between them.

"Kouryuu," Xiaozhi's smile was gentle. It made his heart leap, "Kouryuu, the rabbit."

He blinked and finally smelled what she had; burning. He turned towards the fire and found that some pieces of meat were starting to turn black. He cursed and pulled them away from the fire, letting go of Xiaozhi's face to do so.

She laughed. Kouryuu looked over at her and couldn't help the smile that turned up the corners of his lips. Her cheeks were flushed, practically glowing in the firelight. When her laughter subsided, he handed her one of the skewers of meat. She took it, looking at him meaningfully.

They slept together that night, fully clothed, on Kouryuu's spread out robe by the fire. When he woke the next morning, Xiaozhi was curled against his side, hand on his chest, and head on his shoulder. He watched her sleep for some time, unwilling to move, not wanting to wake her. He put an arm around her, holding her to him.

Something significant had changed between them. Something he couldn't describe. Something precious. Something he didn't want to let go of.


End file.
